It’s ya boy, Stevie Fry, rattling a load of coke in the toilets at Buckingham Palace. “Oh, rather, spectacular,” he’s whispering, as the drip hits. He’s squeezing his nostrils and blinking. He’s shaking his head and clacking out another line. “I really, rather,” he’s saying. “Belgium. Spiffing. Oh, marvelous. But depression.”
And so to Stephen Fry’s new autobiography, Coke Is Spiffing More Fool Me, in which he details his 15-year addiction to cocaine — an addiction that saw him ‘coking up’ in a number of houses, cars and ferries to Belgium.
According to Fry, he used the class-A drug in the House of Lords, House of Commons, Windsor Castle, Clarence House, BBC TV Centre, and the offices of The Daily Telegraph, The Times and The Spectator. AND THE QUEEN’S HOUSE.
“I take this opportunity to apologise unreservedly to the owners, managers or representatives of the noble and ignoble premises and to the hundreds of private homes, offices, car dashboards, tables, mantelpieces and available polished surfaces that could so easily have been added to this list of shame,” he wrote. “You may wish to have me struck off, banned, black-balled or in any other way punished for past crimes. Surely now is the time to reach for the phone, the police or the club secretary.”
He also revealed he spent hundreds of thousands of pounds on the drug, and said of his habit: “I didn’t take coke because I was depressed or under pressure. I didn’t take it because I was unhappy (at least I don’t think so). I took it because I really, really liked it.”