Is Tara Reid going into PORN?

Oh hey Tara Reid, whatcha doing with that photocopier? You know it’s out of toner – huh, what’s that music? Kinda bass-y, isn’t it. Oh Christ Tara, what are you doing? Why are you taking your clothes off? No- no, you can’t put your papers in that- oh Jesus. Oh no. Please no. WHY GOD WHYYYYY?

So American Pie star and number one Jedward fan Tara Reid could be going into the adult entertainment industry after a porn company offered her $1 million to star in their next film.

According to TMZ, GameLink – which offers what our old headmaster used to fondly call ‘blue movies’ on-demand – has basically written her out a seven-figure cheque and is currently sliding it up and down a greased strippers’ pole, like a flag fluttering in the breeze.

Let’s take a moment to imagine what our world would be like if Tara Reid, 39, did porn.

Just think about those sinewy stomach muscles rippling with effort. Consider her weirdly squeaky man-voice squawking in indignation. Reflect on those bleach-blonde hair extensions being caught up EVERYWHERE. Just think about it.

Anyway, the porn company got in touch after seeing Tara posing as a mermaid last week. Which really does go to show: if you can picture it, there’s porn of it.

Will Tara and her scaly tail be taking themselves off on a whole new career move? She’s not confirmed or denied the rumours yet, but she did accidently retweet an image of Jimmy Savile yesterday after a prankster asked her to wish his ‘dad’ a happy birthday. So yeah. Probably won’t hurt to do some porn there, Tara.

Here's Tara Reid pretending to be a mermaid, just cos