TOWIE’s James Lock strips down to the TINIEST GOLD PANTS EVER for massive Pride party

James Lock’s penis looks a bit like a question mark. Soz, but that’s the first thing that came to our mind when we saw this picture. It’s like a question never asked, an answer never given – crude yet stylish in its minimalism.

Like, this whole article is going to be about Lockie’s penis, so feel free to click on some other news if it’s going to put you off your lunch.

The TOWIE star dresses up – well, down – for Bobby Norris’ gay Pride party on tonight’s show, and doesn’t he just look the part.

He styled the smallest pair of gold sparkly man-pants we’ve ever seen with a bright red feather boa and the kind of expression only ever seen on a mouse just before it gets mauled by a hungry cat.

Some questions we have: How did he carry cash for the bar? Did the Sugar Hut just let him in like that? And where the hell did he conceal his microphone???

All will be revealed tonight, hopefully.

Check out what's in store in the gallery below

Also coming up in this evening’s episode, Gemma Collins will try to make it up to Bobby after throwing him under a bus last week – but will he accept her apology?

We’ll also see new girl Verity continue to cause ripples of fury on the TOWIE pond by dropping in to see Danielle Armstrong in her shop, with Pirate Pete in tow. Somehow we don’t think Dani will take very well to that…

Oh, and ratty old Jake is still messing with Chloe Lewis’ head – but a visit from Chloe’s sister Abbey might put her back on the straight and narrow.

Catch all the TOWIE drama tonight at 10pm on ITVBe.