Turns out Megan Fox has some REALLY weird ideas about sex

Someone needs to sit down with Megan and gently explain some things to her with a helpful diagram


by Emmeline Saunders |
Published on

Picture Megan Fox in a hotel room, all dusky voice, all satin skin, all balconette bra and pearls, all purring, all cheekbones and eyebrows and crimson lips. Imagine Megan Fox getting freaky in a hotel room, in YOUR hotel room. Imagine Megan Fox getting freaked OUT in your hotel room. Imagine all five foot four of Megan Fox getting so freaked out in your hotel room that she starts buzzing round like a trapped fly.

So it turns out that Megan Fox gets a bit worried when it comes to getting freaky in hotel rooms. To the point where she actually has to cover up the spyhole in the door just in case someone has magical eyesight and can see through it.

"I get afraid when we're in a hotel room I'll close the curtains and put something over the peephole," the *Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles* star told interviewers recently.

"I'm always afraid someone will see."

Umm Megan, you know you could just dispel your own theory by standing in the corridor and trying to look through the peephole, right? Like, it would take you literally seconds to put your mind at ease. Then you can do whatever you want to, on and around the contents of your minibar.

"Stay outta me peephole, y'hear?"
"Stay outta me peephole, y'hear?"

But wait, there's more. Apparently Megan never actually has sex with husband Brian Austin Green even when she's not in a hotel. Does she believe every room in every building in the entire world has an invisible peephole for those would-be pervs to grind their faces against?

"Brian doesn't get any intimacy whatsoever," she added.

Shame. Remember those heady days of '09, when she said that other weird thing about sex? When the words, "I'm just really confident sexually and that sort of oozes out of my pores" physically came out of her mouth?

Yeah, that was it. Imagine Megan Fox in your hotel room crying into a towel because sex keeps oozing out of her pores.* Oozing. Pores*. Imagine it.

GALLERY: Megan Fox before the stylist. Yep.


Before the stylist: Megan Fox

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