Vicky Pattison wants you all to know that she is not, repeat NOT, game for appearing on Celebrity Big Brother.
Despite the fact that the Geordie Shore lot have a good track record on the show, Vicky has no intention of following in the footsteps of her ex-cast mates Scotty T and Charlotte Crosby, who both won.
But rather than go down the "I'm busy pursuing other projects" or just the "can't be arsed" route of excuses, Vick gave it to us straight.
“I struggle in small spaces and having my freedom taken away is one of the big reasons I left Geordie Shore," the 28 year old told NOW.
“I think Big Brother’s just an extension of Geordie Shore, in an even more intense environment.
“That would totally stifle me. I’d snap, lose the plot and end up writing on the wall in my own poo."
And we thought we'd seen everything in the CBB house over the years. We'll take Heavy D's poetry over pooey walls any day of the week.
The star also ruled herself out of Strictly Come Dancing, describing the show as her "idea of hell".
How can a bit of sitting around in a house or doing some waltzing be worse than I*'m a Celebrity… Get Me Out Of Here!* (which Vicky won in 2014), you ask?
Vicky explained that she was totally cool with snakes or being put up "the highest tree in the jungle" but said she'd cry if you ask her to cha-cha. Each to their own.
Meanwhile, her ex-castmate Marnie Simpson has resisted the temptation to smear shit on the walls but has been getting down and dirty with Lewis Bloor. Come on, Vicky, you're missing out!