Who better to lift this year’s Fit List crown than heat fave Vicky? This year saw her finally get her happy ending with an epic wedding to Ercan Ramadan in a magical Italian ceremony. But far from embracing her inner bridezilla, the 37-year old Geordie was determined not to fall into old toxic habits of obsessive diet and exercise to feel amazing on her big day. ‘I’ve had times where I’ve weaponised exercise or I’ve restricted myself, but I was conscious not to fall into any bad habits,’ she tells us.
Her journey to loving her body hasn’t been easy, and after being diagnosed with PMDD (premenstrual dysphoric disorder) in 2023, she says, ‘Understanding that has been instrumental in me taking control of my life again.’ Now, as she prepares to get her body in the best possible shape to start a family, Vicky shares the pearls of wisdom she has learned along the way.
You seem like you’re in a really good place at the moment…
Not every single day. No one feels great all the time – but I’ve had such a lovely year. Getting married to Ercan and having the wedding of my dreams was so special. I didn’t want to put so much pressure on myself that I didn’t enjoy the cake tasting or the hen do just because of a certain aesthetic. But the pressure does get to you, no matter how body positive you are.
You’ve been on the telly since you were just 21. How do you think that affected your journey with body confidence?
People often ask if I’ve had such a complicated relationship with my body because I was so young when I came into the public eye. It would be such an easy thing for me to say, but it’s not true. I was on that trajectory regardless. As females, we have these raging inner critics, which I just don’t think men have – or at least I don’t think they’re as loud. I’m so passionate about being really honest because we’re all going through it, aren’t we? We’re all just trying to accept ourselves and feel good. Society benefits and thrives when you don’t like yourself and the most defiant thing you can do as a woman is say, ‘I’m OK with how I look.’
What would you want to tell your insecure teenage self?
I remember wanting to dress up as one of the Spice Girls for my school disco and someone told me, ‘You can’t be Baby because you’ll have to wear a crop top and you’ve got a fat tummy.’ There was a mean-girl culture and, if you’re familiar with my early work, there were times when I was really lost and didn’t really know how to advocate for myself.
Nowadays, it’s a much safer space. There’s so much positive noise around celebrating our bodies, whatever shape we are, about rising by lifting others, and just being a nice f**king person! We still have loads to do, but it’s going in the right direction. I’m not as scared about having daughters as I was before.
How do you feel about the prospect of becoming a mum?
That’s the logical next step for Erc and myself, and something that we’ve wanted for a while. [Vicky starts to get teary.] Sorry, I always get upset when I talk about kids. The thought of having daughters years ago probably would have scared us a little bit, but having faced criticism, and been my own harshest critic, I’m in a fairly decent place to try and impart some pearls of wisdom.
Do you think some of your past relationships contributed to your poor self-esteem?
Absolutely. I don’t want to use it as a scapegoat, but you can’t be in a toxic relationship and have positive opinions of yourself, it’s just not possible. Unfortunately, we all go through boys we shouldn’t have kissed and the situations we let go on too long. So many things in your life are hard, but your relationship should be a safe space. I’ve had fellas tell me – when I’ve asked them to take another picture of us because I don’t like the first one – ‘The problem isn’t the picture, the problem is that you’re not as pretty as you think you are.’ You get to a point where you start to think that those things are normal.
When you were diagnosed with PMDD, did it help you understand your body more?
I spent the best part of the last 10 years thinking I was descending into madness, being told by doctors there was nothing wrong with me. They were insinuating that I was just weak and dramatic. When I finally got my diagnosis, it was the most liberating feeling. I thought, ‘You’re not weak, you’re not horrible, you’re not depressed – you have a disorder.’ I feel really angry that women are not listened to and that we’re not taught enough about our own bodies when we’re younger. I will continue to shout about my PMDD and be a voice for the people who haven’t got one. I know people are sick to death of seeing my little period pot on Instagram, but if I’m not for you, then unfollow.
Was it a conscious decision to be real on social media?
I had this really horrible year where I lost my gran and then my best friend, and the relationship I was in broke down quite publicly. I was using so much energy to just hold myself together that I couldn’t present that image of strength and fierceness. I was crumbling. I started being more open and the response was overwhelming. You get a few people who are like, ‘Oh, here she goes. Another celeb with another disorder’, and I think, ‘I’m 37 years old and I have thick skin, so I can deal with it, but what if your daughter or your mate reads that? You’re saying to other women with PMDD that it doesn’t matter’.
What does your fitness regime look like at the moment?
This year, with kids on the horizon, I want to be the strongest I’ve ever been, so that when I undertake this hugely physically demanding feat of having a baby, I’m in the best place I can possibly be. I have a very addictive personality, and when I was on Geordie Shore, that centred around drinking too much and eating too much. So, when I was desperate to leave that image behind, I went completely the other way. I became far too regimented with exercise, and I’d count how many blueberries I put on my porridge. I feel a real sense of guilt for perpetuating a toxic diet culture, but I didn’t know any better.
Now, I try to stay away from anything that could trigger negative habits. I don’t want to be a slave to the gym. Getting our dogs, Milo and Max, transformed my life. I’m a big advocate for getting out into nature, and I do about five-to-10 walks a week. I also like Zero Gravity Reformer Pilates – I’m chaotic and neurotic all the time, but when I go to Pilates, I’m out of my own head. That’s what I look for with exercise. Yes, I love that it can change your body and make you healthier. But ultimately, exercise and movement should be about celebrating what your body is capable of, rather than punishing yourself for eating Maltesers at the weekend.
What is PMDD?
Premenstrual dysphoric disorder is a severe form of premenstrual syndrome, which causes a range of physical and emotional symptoms. These can include anxiety, fatigue, food cravings, panic attacks, and feelings of hopelessness or even suicide. The symptoms usually subside around two to three days before your period starts. If you feel that you may be suffering from PMDD, then reach out to your GP or contact an organisation such as Mind for help.