Vicky Pattison slams Geordie Shore for making her a “caricature” of herself

The star is not impressed by what she became on the show

Vicky Pattison

by Owen Tonks |
Published on

She didn’t always get on with her Geordie Shore housemates and became known as ‘Volcano Vicky’ during her time on the show.

But it seems she’s still not worried about offending any of her former MTV co-stars – she says she felt like she lived in a “plastic environment” whilst filming for the series.

Vicky, who quit the programme that made her famous last year and is the star of her own show Judge Geordie, says her best qualities vanished when she lived in the Geordie Shore house.

She told The Sun: “I think living in a bubble and living in that plastic environment can drain you and I found I ended up being a caricature of myself.

“All my good qualities – the fact I’m maternal and protective of other girls and a good listener – they were all overlooked.

“Because no one wants to see me sitting there giving someone a cuddle with a cup of green tea on Geordie Shore.”

The star also recently admitted that there is one moment she really regrets from her time on the show – having sex on television.

She told the Daily Star: “I acted in ways which made me cringe. But doing these things moulded me into Judge Geordie and gave me perspective.

“I hate the fact I had sex on telly, I will never get over it. My mam will never get over it. I hate it. It’s my biggest regret.”

GALLERY: Vicky Pattison's greatest moments

Gallery

Vicky Pattison's greatest moments

Vicky anal bleaching1 of 13

Vicky anal bleaching

Only Vicky sees that anal bleaching is daft “I’m just here to offer my support,” she explains, brusque as Mary Poppins, while Charlotte squeezes her hands tightly and tries not to think about having the better part of bottle of Toilet Duck shoved up her bumhole.

Vicky Ricci proposal2 of 13

Vicky Ricci proposal

Vicky gets a plane proposal While it lasted, Vicky and Ricci’s love was hotter than a kebab that had been left out in the sun. They were a modern day Burton/Taylor, or, for our older readers, Same Difference. And because subtlety is for goons, Ricci asked her with a massive banner.

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Screen Shot 2014-10-29 at 12.25.58

Vicky attacks a girl with a shoe This wasn’t great, but then who hasn’t looked at their heels and thought “I could really take someone out with these!”? We all went on a journey together, and learned violence never solves anything. Also, you’re less likely to lash out at someone when you’re wearing Converse.

Vicky is a good friend4 of 13

Vicky is a good friend

Vicky is a good friend□ □We know Vicky does not ship Gaz and Chaz, to the point of being a metaphorical ship sinking iceberg. But she loves Charlotte enough to hang out in the loos with her and cuddle her when she has an early, regrettable intimate encounter with Mr Beadle. Little did Vicky know that Charlotte would be seeing more of Gaz’s underpants than the local launderette.

Vicky learns Spanish5 of 13

Vicky learns Spanish

Vicky speaks Spanish.“All you've got to say when you're in Mexico is 'dos Jaegerbomb por favour' or 'dos vodka red bull por favour”. That is Vicky Pattison’s entire guide to Cancun.

Vicky relationshipn counsellor6 of 13

Vicky relationshipn counsellor

Vicky is a relationship counselor It did not take our girl long to get frustrated with the Crosby/Beadle union, that was permanently threatening to come asunder. “Charlotte and Gaz are having another f**king argument about one of them pulling. In other shocking news water is wet.” She has such a lovely turn of phrase – we understand why she finds Shakespeare inspirational. "They're like Romeo and Juliet... if Romeo was a TWAT!" There you go.

Vicky Gaz shag pad prophecy7 of 13

Vicky Gaz shag pad prophecy

Vicky thinks consistency is for idiots Vicky has always made it clear that to her, Gaz has less erotic appeal than a wet sack of kale with a face drawn on it. But eventually she got drunk and bored enough to drag him to the shag pad. Vicky is the patron saint of all our regrettable Christmas party conquests.

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Vicky looks good in green The slackers of Made In Chelsea might get offices and interns, but in the old days, La Pattison had to hustle for dollar while dressed as a giant Fruit Pastille.

Vicky bus proposal9 of 13

Vicky bus proposal

Vicky is fun on bus journeys “I've had marriage proposals, I've had c*** in my face!” beamed Vicky, who was making the most out of the mass transit systems of Newcastle, Australia. At this point, the bus had not left the terminal.

Vicky tashing on10 of 13

Vicky tashing on

No-one tashes on like Vicky She’s swapped more saliva than a sneaky boy trading used Panini stickers. Vicky’s got the oral skills of a snake. One that supplements its diet of eggs with other, more docile snakes.

Vicky bake off11 of 13

Vicky bake off

Vicky ought to be on Bake Off "Has Gary got a chocolate c*** that I don't know about? Some sort of Battenburg bell***?" she mused, trying to figure out just what it is that leads an unprecedented number of women to the contents of Gaz’s trousers. Vicky needs to be in the next series of GBBO – we want to see Mary B dealing with this.

Vicky sex face12 of 13

Vicky sex face

Vicky is a sex siren Vicky is so good at the old rumpy whoopsy dance that a leading ‘sexpert’ confirmed her ‘arrival’ face expresses mad raunch skillz. We were not surprised.

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Vicky invented a new genre of reality telly – fourth dimension hyper reality All our Christmasses, and A Level theatre studies recollections, came at once, when Vicky smashed the fourth wall and went on a date with Kirk-Off-TOWIE. If she could only see her way clear to snogging Spencer Matthews, she might change ‘real’ life as we know it forever.

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