Weirdly asexual celebrity gardener news now, and Alan Titchmarsh has wreaked havoc on the BBC after swearing live on breakfast television.
Appearing on this morning’s Breakfast show, Alan forgot ALL the rules of live broadcasting and just let rip with a FOUL-MOUTHED message about, er, ‘trenching’.
(Which is apparently a gardening term, and nothing to do with bumsex. APPARENTLY.)
Now we’ve done some googling, because we’re responsible journalists like that, and we found out ‘bastard trenching’ is an actual thing. It’s to do with double-digging, actually, which again is nothing to do with the act of putting things into or around your butt-hole.
Who knew gardening was so filthy?
Double-digging, we found out, is when you dig twice as far down to aerate the soil and make sure your seedlings thrive when you, er, peg them out.
Presumably your back really aches after all the double-digging and pegging, hence ‘bastard trenching’.
Don’t you ever say heat never covers the real news of the day.