Georgina Francis was nicknamed ‘Britain’s Biggest Bridezilla’ by the UK press after having 99 wedding rehearsals around the world to ensure her big budget wedding this summer really IS the best day of her life.
Georgina is having her 100th and final wedding rehearsal in front of 400 people at the Underbelly, London on 20th May and you are invited.
Georgina explains how important it is to carefully select your Bridesmaids
When it comes to Bridesmaids, I’ve seen so many women make dreadful choices. Everyone feels pressured into picking the women closest to them – sisters, friends, in-laws… Imagine if Jennifer Lawrence chose her friends to play the supporting roles in a film she was in? No doubt they would be dreadful, unattractive and ruin it!
Your wedding day is the MOST IMPORTANT DAY OF YOUR LIFE. I’ve been planning mine since I could breathe! You are the leading lady and everyone else is just an extra or a supporting actor. No-one even cares about the Groom and what he looks like. It’s all about YOU.
So choose your support VERY carefully… here is how!
1. HOLD AUDITIONS
Invite friends and relatives to attend a rigorous audition process. Select two judges to help you (mine were Simon Cowell and Pippa Middleton). They should wear a selection of potential dresses, be photographed with you, write and perform a speech about how amazing you are and show you how they’d walk down the aisle. Then start narrowing it down… see below.
2. CHOOSE UGLY ONES
Study the photographs carefully – your Bridesmaids should be much less attractive than you (if you are very ugly indeed and can’t find anyone uglier, just don’t have any or make them wear Scream masks). You MUST be the most attractive person in the wedding party. They should be ideally very plain, don’t let them wear make-up and make sure they have the opposite hair colour to you (I’m making my blonde Bridesmaids dye their hair brown). It goes without saying they should be at least two dress sizes bigger than you.
3. CHOOSE UNFLATTERING BRIDEMAIDS DRESSES
Choose high necked, loose fitting flesh coloured or brown dresses. You’re looking for a kind of ‘glamorous sack’. If they’re tall put them in flat shoes or make them crouch down (they must not obstruct the view of you). These colours will make your dress stand out even more and all eyes will be on you!
4. INSIST ON PREGNANCY TESTS
Pregnant women ruin photos and get attention. They also can’t drink which is boring for everyone, especially on the hen weekend. Do weekly pregnancy tests up until the big day!
5. DO BACKGROUND CHECKS
Ask for bank statements to ensure they can afford the hen week (mine is £10,000 a head) and get their medical records in case they have a condition which could take attention away from you (the last thing you need is someone being resuscitated during the first dance!).
For more tips see my wedding blogs{
NB: FOR THOSE CONFUSED AND ALARMED, Georgina Francis is a character played by comedian Anna Francis. This is not a legit guide, and we do not in any way condone any of what is says - choosing unflattering bridesmaid dresses is just a bit rude tbh.
See Anna Morris: It’s Got to be Perfect at the Underbelly Festival, Belvedere Rd, Lambeth, London SE1 8XX
Saturday 20th May – 7.45pm (1 hour)
Price: From £12.50