Broadchurch returned to our screens on Monday night in an EXPLOSION of intrigue, tension and Olivia Coleman's snotty tears.
But not everyone watched it, GAWD only knows why, so we thought we'd be super-nice (this is heat Makes You Happy month, after all) and catch you up to speed on everything that happened in the first episode of the second series.
Here's all the stuff you need to know so you can seem like a proper Broadchurchian when you're down the pub tonight. You're welcome.
1. You KNEW Joe Miller was going to plead "Not Guilty"
Yep, despite being banged to rights by DI Alec Hardy (the still beautifully mardy faced David Tennant) and, well, his own wife at the end of the first season, DS Ellie Miller's hubby Joe took to the dock and declared it wasn't him, guv. You had no idea until two seconds before, then it struck you that THIS would be the first big twist. Cue the collective national gasp while you tweeted thousands of people you don't know at #broadchurchreturns to say YOU GUESSED IT! (You later deleted said tweet as you didn't want to be the smug one, that's why your mates can't find it).
2. You thought her off Torchwood was going to be Hardy's wife/ex lover
"Who was that?" our hangdog-faced heroine Ellie asked when Eve Myles, aka Claire, strode into court, bold as brass. Who indeed? Early guesses were definitely something to do with Hardy's past, possibly a former love interest. She turned out to be the wife of another not-very-nice-at-all new character (more on him later). But has something else happened between Gwen Cooper and Dr Who? You're definitely thinking 'er, YES...'
3. "Oh yeah, Sandbrook..."
Frequently alluded to in BC1 (as we will call it from now on as it's quicker), Hardy came to town after somehow messing up his previous case, always mysteriously just referred to as 'Sandbrook'. Now, the case is coming back to haunt him, and this will form a large part of series two (you're guessing). So, remember Sandbrook.
4. Olivia Colman's face is as good as ever
We'd all cry if we went through everything Ellie Miller went through, including being yelled at by Beth Latimer (the mother of Danny Latimer, whose murder formed the original BC1 storyline). But if you have to be permanently wet-faced, do it with the kind of lip-quivering, chin-shaking, BAFTA-baiting aplomb on display here. Frequently.
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The new guy probably didn't do it...**
New character Lee Ashworth rifled through Hardy's drawers (and went through his things) and smoked a lot while looking mean 'n' moody. Prime suspect in - come on, what was it? Yep, the Sandbrook case - he's come to Broadchurch looking for wife Claire, and not so he can woo her back with a bunch of daffs.
6. The kid in the caravan WAS Ellie's son
Ellie made frequent references to her estrangement from son Tom (best friend of poor deceased Danny Latimer), often resulting in the kind of wet-faced lip quivering previously mentioned. And yep, that WAS him playing video games in the caravan with Danny's dad Mark. You weren't sure at first, but a quick Google search after the show sorted that out.
7. We're gearing up for a courtroom battle
While BC1 was exclusively a whodunnit, BC2 is set to have a courtroom twist. The minute Charlotte Rampling and Marianne Jean-Baptiste swept onto the sand and a bit of actual Hollywood arrived, you guessed this was going to be a mega plot line. And you suspect there could be a bit of romantic history between Charlotte R and the lady editor of the local newspaper (or even M J-B herself, you haven't decided yet…).
Next week: the vicar is up to something saucy, moody Lee will burn through the Benson & Hedges, and Hardy's mysterious illness will begin to cause problems. But you're just guessing...