“What is this ‘Dance Mums’ and why is it in my face?” you might be wondering at 9.01pm tonight. By 9.05pm you will be hooked. That’s a promise.
Dance Mums is a brand new Lifetime TV show that’s been adapted from the hugely popular US franchise Dance Moms (see what they did there?). The idea is to get a bunch of extremely talented dancers, train them into dance machines, and then TOTALLY FORGET ALL ABOUT THEM and instead focus solely on their mad, mad mothers.
Because dance mums are a thing. Anyone with the vaguest childhood memory of being dragged to ballet classes will have encountered them. They’re fierce. They’re ferocious. And they take no goddamn prisoners. If their little girl isn’t the dance mentor’s first priority, there’d better be some good explanation, pronto.
And so to Jennifer Ellison’s Fame Academy. You might know Jen-Ell from Brookside, or perhaps from her glamour modelling days – or even from her performance in Hollywood film* The Phantom Of The Opera*. You probably didn’t know that she’s also got one of the most solid dance backgrounds of any celebrity, having trained from the age of three and attending classes seven nights a week as a child. And she is NOT afraid to give her dance troupe – and their unruly mums – a real telling off if she thinks they’re not giving their all.
Let’s see some of the most shocking moments coming up in Episode 1 of Dance Mums, Monday night at 9pm over on Lifetime (Sky 156 / Virgin 242 / TalkTalk 490).
Dance Mums Episode 1 - 6 moments we can't wait to see
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Have you ever seen so much metalwork? These kids - all aged between eight and 14 - have won a tremendous number of dancing trophies between them, which helps Jennifer Ellison decide who's going to be at the top of her 'pyramid' (a Whiteboard of Doom that shows how each of the girls are progressing). The odd one out is nine-year-old Aleah, who has never danced in competitions before. Will this hold her - and the rest of the troupe - back in training?
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Two of the mums - Danielle (Aleah's mum) and Charlotte (who has Sam) - are already making themselves known as troublemakers. As soon as the results of the pyramid are revealed, these two kick off BIG TIME, prompting a massive showdown with Jennifer in the changing room. How will Jen deal with them?
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Jennifer is so incensed by Charlotte's attitude that she stops the ENTIRE class and tells them all to bugger off home, despite it being FOUR DAYS before their first group competition. The resulting slanging match in the carpark is PERFECTION.
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Danielle is still causing trouble for Jennifer and the rest of the team by refusing to help the girls get ready for their first public appearance as a dance team. Jennifer has more words with her. Danielle huffs out, then reappears and throws some excellent side-eye at one of the other mums. We heart Danielle - even though she's a massive pain in the butt.
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14-year-old Eleiyah is sick of always coming second to rival Tayleur - and she's determined to outshine her in the first competition. How is mentor Jennifer going to help her come out on top? Erm. By making her cry right before her solo performance. Will it work? Er, you'll have to wait and see.
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NEXT TIME ON DANCE MUMS: Is that a...a fight? In the canteen? But, but WHY? We're guessing Danielle is involved somehow, because DANIELLE. But we'll have to tune in next Monday at 9pm to find out what that's all about. CAN'T. WAIT.