EastEnders spoilers: Has Danny Dyer dropped a massive Christmas clanger?

We’d like Danny Dyer in our stocking for Christmas, please.

EastEnders: Kellie Bright, Danny Dyer

by Georgina Terry |
Published on

Danny Dyer, known professional as Mick Carter, may have just dropped a massive Christmas EastEnders clanger.

We are in no way angry about this because Danny Dyer can do NO WRONG in our eyes, we are merely reporting, dispassionately (not dispassionately) the facts.

Danny is a guest on* Alan Carr: Chatty Man* tonight and talk, naturally, turned to what’s happening in EastEnders at Christmas.

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Speculation is rife that Ross Kemp, professional bald brother Grant Mitchell, will be back Back BACK.

But is he? Don’t hold your fackin’ breath, alas.

“I like the idea of this but I think he is cracking on isn’t he?” Danny told Alan.

“He has won BAFTAs for his documentaries and all that bollocks. I mean I did a few documentaries but he has got f*cking helicopters in his documentaries. He is filming in Range Rovers. I don’t think he wants to come back…

So, what can we expect in Walford this Christmas?

“It’s a kick up the bollocks,” Danny told Alan, subtly.

“It’s f*cking horrible yeah. I’ve got away with Christmas Day but New Year’s Day is the one where I am getting married and all that stuff but it goes wrong, badly, but it gets better.

“It’s got a right good ending on New Years Day. That’s all I can give away. The ending is unbelievable. It’s a right lovely ‘doof doof’. For once it is a nice ‘doof doof’.

“We’re f*cking due one after forty years of it.”

Alan Carr: Chatty Man is on Channel 4 at 10pm tonight.

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