Huzzah and yay and whoop and honk-honk – joy of joys, Ex On The Beach is returning to our screens NEXT MONTH for its second series!
The MTV show will reappear with its first episode on 27 January – and this time we’re going to see even more cruel twists and turns as we follow a group of blissfully unaware singles meet one another’s exes.
Last season, the focus was on ‘whose ex is next’, with Geordie Shore’s Vicky Pattison being totally surprised by the sudden appearance of TWO of her exes - her former fiancé Ricci Guarnaccio and once-beau Daniel Conn.
But next series, the new theme will be ‘which ex is next’ – and show bosses have already picked up a number of different archetypes like ‘the two-timer’, ‘the ball-breaker’ and ‘the one who got away’.
As MTV says: “While we can't promise that January won't be its usual post-Christmas slog, one thing’s for sure: series two of Ex On The Beach is set to be even more dramatic than the first.”
heatworld will be bringing you all the best bits of the new series, so make sure you check back to find out who’s going in and what’s really going to make them tick.
GALLERY: Vicky Pattison's greatest moments of ALL TIME
Vicky Pattison's greatest moments
Only Vicky sees that anal bleaching is daft u201cIu2019m just here to offer my support,u201d she explains, brusque as Mary Poppins, while Charlotte squeezes her hands tightly and tries not to think about having the better part of bottle of Toilet Duck shoved up her bumhole.
Vicky gets a plane proposal While it lasted, Vicky and Ricciu2019s love was hotter than a kebab that had been left out in the sun. They were a modern day Burton/Taylor, or, for our older readers, Same Difference. And because subtlety is for goons, Ricci asked her with a massive banner.
Vicky attacks a girl with a shoe This wasnu2019t great, but then who hasnu2019t looked at their heels and thought u201cI could really take someone out with these!u201d? We all went on a journey together, and learned violence never solves anything. Also, youu2019re less likely to lash out at someone when youu2019re wearing Converse.
Vicky is a good friendu25a1 u25a1We know Vicky does not ship Gaz and Chaz, to the point of being a metaphorical ship sinking iceberg. But she loves Charlotte enough to hang out in the loos with her and cuddle her when she has an early, regrettable intimate encounter with Mr Beadle. Little did Vicky know that Charlotte would be seeing more of Gazu2019s underpants than the local launderette.
Vicky speaks Spanish.u201cAll you've got to say when you're in Mexico is 'dos Jaegerbomb por favour' or 'dos vodka red bull por favouru201d. That is Vicky Pattisonu2019s entire guide to Cancun.
Vicky is a relationship counselor It did not take our girl long to get frustrated with the Crosby/Beadle union, that was permanently threatening to come asunder. u201cCharlotte and Gaz are having another f**king argument about one of them pulling. In other shocking news water is wet.u201d She has such a lovely turn of phrase – we understand why she finds Shakespeare inspirational. "They're like Romeo and Juliet... if Romeo was a TWAT!" There you go.
Vicky thinks consistency is for idiots Vicky has always made it clear that to her, Gaz has less erotic appeal than a wet sack of kale with a face drawn on it. But eventually she got drunk and bored enough to drag him to the shag pad. Vicky is the patron saint of all our regrettable Christmas party conquests.
Vicky looks good in green The slackers of Made In Chelsea might get offices and interns, but in the old days, La Pattison had to hustle for dollar while dressed as a giant Fruit Pastille.
Vicky is fun on bus journeys u201cI've had marriage proposals, I've had c*** in my face!u201d beamed Vicky, who was making the most out of the mass transit systems of Newcastle, Australia. At this point, the bus had not left the terminal.
No-one tashes on like Vicky Sheu2019s swapped more saliva than a sneaky boy trading used Panini stickers. Vickyu2019s got the oral skills of a snake. One that supplements its diet of eggs with other, more docile snakes.
Vicky ought to be on Bake Off "Has Gary got a chocolate c*** that I don't know about? Some sort of Battenburg bell***?" she mused, trying to figure out just what it is that leads an unprecedented number of women to the contents of Gazu2019s trousers. Vicky needs to be in the next series of GBBO – we want to see Mary B dealing with this.
Vicky is a sex siren Vicky is so good at the old rumpy whoopsy dance that a leading u2018sexpert’ confirmed her u2018arrival’ face expresses mad raunch skillz. We were not surprised.
Vicky invented a new genre of reality telly – fourth dimension hyper reality All our Christmasses, and A Level theatre studies recollections, came at once, when Vicky smashed the fourth wall and went on a date with Kirk-Off-TOWIE. If she could only see her way clear to snogging Spencer Matthews, she might change u2018real’ life as we know it forever.