Didn’t have time to watch the latest episode of _Game Of Throne_s and don’t want to look like a loser in the work kitchen tomorrow? Read on, friends. We will save you from certain loser-dom. If you don’t want to know what happened in episode 9, Dance of the Dragons, then DO NOT READ ON. That was written in capitals and so is a major warning.
In tonight’s ep SO MUCH happened we will break it down into 3 important parts...
In Dorne
Over in the land of sunshine and miniscule frocks Sir Jaime Lannister managed to broker a deal to take his niece/daughter, Myrcella, back to King’s Landing avec her new love the Prince Trystane. Cocky Bronn was also freed from his cell of doom. Oh, and Jaime’s hair is looking less like the golden crown it once was. Someone get him some Sun-In, stat.
Stannis Baratheon
The could-be-should-be King did the unthinkable, took the crazy red lady’s advice and burned his only daughter at the stake. Well, the red woman did. He just watched. It was very awful and really sad. Even her weird mum broke down in tears.
Drogon the great
In Mereen Daenerys played to host the murderous games, watching Ser Jorah fight his way to be champion (which basically means he slaughtered quite a few blokes). Once done he threw a spear at Khaleesi… which flew OVER her shoulder, straight into the heart of a Harpy who was about to do her in. GO SER JORAH. After that all hell broke loose with nightmarish harpies popping up all over, desperate to kill the blonde babe and her followers. Despite excellent fighting from Tyrion, Ser Jorah and hunky Daario Naharis the group soon find themselves surrounded and facing certain (painful) death. Until DROGON ARRIVES. The dragon swoops in, chews up some baddies and sets fire to the rest. A few left over try to kill Drogon with spears. Daenerys pulls the spears out and climbs on the dragon’s back before telling him to fly and get them the hell out of there. That’s right, Khaleesi FLIES ON THE BACK OF DROGON. And Tyrion is lost for words. Two incredible things.
We want a dragon SO bad.
Oh, and there wasn’t nearly enough Jon Snow. That is all.