Michael Buerk, newsman, has spilled the beans on the strict rules and regulations that govern life in the I’m A Celebrity… Get Me Out Of Here! jungle.
And, according to Michael, life in the jungle is “torture”.
Masturbation, or as Michael rather sweetly puts it “self-pleasure”, is NOT allowed. Ditto "class A swearing" and harming the local wildlife.
But if you want to get your jungle jiggy on with a camp-mate and they’re into it to, then go ahead.
This makes us nervous about Spencer Matthews’ rumoured appearance. He’s such a flirt. Will Vicky Pattison and Ferne McCann be able to resist? Will Jorgie Porter?
worried
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Michael, who was on the show in 2014, also revealed in his Radio Times column that show producers have “no problem” with nudity so long as it’s in a non-sexual context.
Which must be why we can see boobs and bums a-plenty on e.g. Geordie Shorebut that actual sex always happens under the covers.
Michael, who was the third person to be booted off the show last year, then went on to compare camp life to that in a torture centre.
“The format works on techniques perfected by the Gestapo and the KGB,” he said.
“The ‘jungle’ is part prison camp, part torture centre, part laboratory experiment in social anthropology; cruelty with its tongue in its cheek, staged at vast expense (and huge profit) for the amusement of millions.”
And it does amuse us Michael! It really does.
I’m a Celebrity… Get Me Out Of Here! starts on Sunday 15 November at 9pm on ITV1.