Look at all the must-see TV on this weekend…
Doctor Who: Death In Heaven (BBC1, Saturday, 8pm)
It’s a weekend of big series finales. Well, two to be precise. But they are huge, namely Doctor Who and Downton. First on Saturday is an epic, hour-long episode of Who which pits the Doctor against the new, female version of his old, psychotic enemy The Master, played with total glee by the great Michelle Gomez out of Bad Education and Green Wing. She was born to play this role, and bounces off an utterly furious, flummoxed Peter Capaldi in tremendously enjoyable style while she’s imprisoned aboard a plane in Hannibal Lecter-style get-up. And she has control of a worldwide army of Cybermen who are set to take over the planet by bringing the dead back to life. When I hosted a Q&A for the start of this series with Who showrunner Steven Moffat a few months ago, one audience member asked him if he had any plans to bring back The Master and he totally poo-poohed the idea. He’s a cunning one, that Moff. Anyway, the episode is all kinds of crazed, spectacular fun, and rounds off what has undoubtedly been the best season of Who since it was revived in 2005.
Downton Abbey (ITV, Sunday, 9pm)
As for the good folk of Downton, they get an extended, 90-minute finale (well, about 70 minutes if you don’t include the ads), which revolves round the nuptials of Lady Rose and her handsome beau Atticus. Yes, she only just met him a few weeks ago, but things move fast, and remember, she has to marry him if she wants to do anything saucy with him, so good on her for not messing about. Of course Atticus happens to be Jewish which means Rose’s bigoted mum is up in arms, leading to another one of those delicious dinner arguments which enlivens Downton every time they happen. There’s also the little matter of Isis the dog’s fate to sort out, Mr and Mrs Bates still under suspicion in the epic police investigation of the murder of Mini Den from EastEnders and the Dowager gets an extraordinary offer from that old Russian dude. It all adds up to a fitting end to the most fun series of Downton for years. And there are loads of hats to enjoy, too.
The X Factor (ITV, Saturday & Sunday, 8pm)
OK, this is getting ridiculous. First we were told the theme would be “girl bands vs boy bands”, then they changed it to Disco week. Now we’re told it’s Michael Jackson Vs Queen songs! There’s still time before tomorrow’s live show to change it again, although that might mean the contestants going way out of tune again. Oh, and Sunday’s results show features One Direction belting out their new single. Don’t go all the way to Wembley hoping to catch a glimpse of them though. They pre-recorded it last week. Bet they didn’t mime.
And don’t forget… If you want some food for thought in between all the glitzy excitement of the weekend TV, check out the new series The Mekong River With Sue Perkins (BBC2, Sunday, 8pm) in which the great Ms Perks travels along this extraordinary river, meeting amazing people and seeing amazing things. We love Perkins.