EastEnders! Made In Chelsea! Sherlock! Luther! Yep, London has made for some pretty incredible backdrops to some of the best telly on our screens of late, with its dramatic skylines and its St Paul's Cathedral, all romantic drizzle and greying limestone and the possibility of bumping into Hugh Grant outside a red phone box. While holding some jellied eels. LANDAN!
But a brand new BBC Three series is set to knock all that into a cocked hat (£6.99 from that bloke selling the Union Jack brollies on Oxford Street, you know the one) and show viewers what the REAL London is like – south of the river.
South Side Story is a structured reality show with a huge difference: every single one of the characters is trying to make a name for themselves in the world of entertainment – but with a whole bunch of creative minds clashing, things don't always run as smoothly as they should.
OH – and every episode has a big song and dance number or two. A bit like Glee, if Mr Schuester came from Peckham and kept badgering you to play his demo tape.
Without further ado, let's meet the* South Side Story* cast…
Catch South Side Story on BBC iPlayer.
South Side Story - meet the cast!
1 of 10Gilly – Choreographer
Look, things are complicated with Gilly. He's head of dance group Trilogy, but with best mate (and lead dancer) Levi going off in a strop, his plans for world domination through the power of back-flips is looking less Diversity and more David Brent. He's also getting super-close to his assistant choreographer Fayy – but are they really just friends like they keep telling everyone? We're guessing: hell no.
2 of 10Levi – Dancer
Oh here we go. As we've already heard, talented dancer Levi's gone and left Trilogy in the lurch and is now washing cars for a living. He still wants to get back to dancing though, but can he regain Gilly's trust and prove to him that he's committed to the group?
3 of 10Fayy – Dancer
Yeah, you're going to want to keep your eyes on Fayy. She's sassy, she's smart, and her dance moves are going to leave you with several pieces of broken furniture if you try to recreate them in the living room. She's stuck in the middle of warring ex-BFFs Gilly and Levi but needs them to stop fighting in order to get their dance group back together. Plus there's something simmering under the surface between her and Gilly…
4 of 10Yinka – DJ
Yinka's taking no prisoners. Literally – with a degree in Law, you probably want her on side if you ever 'do a Levi' and end up getting your collar felt. But Yinka's heart isn't in Law; radio's where she wants to end up, and she's already bagged herself a job on Rinse FM. There's nuffink going on between her and any of the London lads (her big, overly protective bro Ade puts a stop to that), so there's nothing standing in the way of Yinka's ambition. We hope.
5 of 10Shahnequa – Actress
She might be from Forest Hill, but Shahnequa is looking to the Hollywood Hills. Or at least the West End. You can get the bus there and it's not full of scary-looking women with bad face-lifts, unlike LA. Her career comes first – now that she's kicked on-off boyfriend Kas to the curb – but oh, no, wait, he's back. Or is he? Wait and see.
6 of 10Nyomi “Ny” – Singer
A seriously talented lady who's already making a name for herself on the underground music scene (and has already put out her first LP, Who Is She, which is on actual iTunes! Like a proper recording artist! Yes, see!), Ny's hoping to get out and show off her stunning vocals. Except… life, y'know? Work and that. Poor old Ny's singing career has been put on the back-burner until she can make rent. We think she can do it though – watch this space.
7 of 10Alaric – Personal trainer
Uh, just how much talent has this dude got in his LITTLE FINGER? He’s a classically trained singer (obvs) who does a bit of cage-fighting on the side – oh, and his day job is as a personal trainer with a few shifts as a bouncer thrown into the mix. Did we mention his thrash metal band, too? No? Huh. WHERE DOES HE FIND THE TIME TO FILM THIS SHOW???
8 of 10Jayden “Fresh” – Personal trainer
With a name like Fresh, you’ve gotta have the goods to back it up. Luckily, Jayden does – and bo-hoy does he know it. He’s a massive ladies’ man with the body to match, and his signature move is to impress people of the female persuasion with a cool glass of Pinot Nior and his own personal party trick, the pec dance. Yup. He refers to himself in the third person too, which is how you KNOW someone is heading to stardom.
9 of 10Alistair – Singer
He’s a good-looking guy, we’re not going to lie – but with all those crowds of female admirers surrounding Alistair at every turn, how will he ever manage to settle down? Short answer: he won’t. At least not in the first series of South Side Story – we reckon we’re going to see Alistair getting into plenty of trouble in his love-life.
10 of 10Lady Lykez – Rapper
If you ever find yourself in an underground bar with this Lady, do NOT agree to a rap battle. You will lose, and you will lose so badly you won’t be able to show your face in south London EVER AGAIN. Lykez reckons she’s the British Nicki Minaj (she’s even got the butt to prove it), and she’s even done her own remix of Anaconda. She’s well good. Catch South Side Story on BBC Three from Monday 26 January at 9.30pm.