Andy Murray is holding a fork and knife furiously in each hand. It is Sunday in the Murray household, Sunday 4 January 2015. Judy Murray has just made a pork roast for her, Andy, Andy’s brother whose name we don’t know, and her new husband, Thom Evans from Strictly Come Dancing.
“Gravy, Andy?” Thom asks.
“…”
“Andy?” Judy butts in. “Answer your father, Andy Murray!”
Andy Murray stands, furiously. He adjusts the sweatbands he wears on his wrists at all times. He eats his Sunday roast in his full tennis kit, just like he eats every other meal. “YOU’RE NOT MY REAL DA,” Andy Murray roars, doing that arm pump thing he does when he’s angry. “YOU’RE NOT MY REAL DA!”
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Oh, sorry. You just caught us envisioning a terrible future where Andy Murray’s mum Judy Murray is married to Kelly Brook’s ex and former rugby player Thom Evans. Why are we envisioning this future, where Thom and Judes send out family Christmas cards every year, hugging in soft cardigans on the front of OK! Magazine? Because Judy Murray and Thom Evans are FLIRTING UP A STORM ON TWITTER AND INSTAGRAM.
“Not that judmoo will ever admit this.. But she is my new #Bff :)” Thom tweeted today, along with a picture of the two of them looking COSY ENOUGH FOR US TO DO A MAG COVER ABOUT IT. “[Y]eah yeah yeah,” Judy replied. “Quit the charm offensive big boy. It won't wash with me....We are rivals now :-). Xx” ‘BIG BOY’! TWO KISSES! IT IS ON LIKE DONKEY KONG!
But it isn’t just flirty tweets – oh no. Judy and Thom — or Tudy, as their celebrity couple name now forever shall be — were even flirting at the Strictly roundtable heat attended a couple of weeks ago.
When asked who he was close to on the show, Thom said, “Me and Judy are pretty tight, aren’t we?” to which she replied, “We had code names before the thing started – he’s Tiger and I’m Jekyll. So every time I walk past him I’m going, ‘Easy Tiger!’” We hope you are accepting of your new father, Andy Murray. Same goes for you, Andy Murray’s brother. Same goes for you.