This weekend’s must-see TV…
The X Factor (ITV, Saturday & Sunday, 8pm)
After last week’s embarrassingly out-of-tune sing-off when Jake Quickenden managed to be even worse than Only The Young murdering Abba’s Winner Takes It All, Simon Cowell was visibly reeling. So good on him for reading the acts the riot act and enforcing a Halloween weekend shock eviction. Tomorrow might, the act who gets the fewest public votes for their spooky-themed song will get summarily chucked off the show without even the chance to caterwaul their way through their Sing Off song. Then there’ll be the regular bottom two competing on the Sunday results show. While I warmly welcome any attempt to “mix things up”, I would be glued to the show this Saturday anyway because the Halloween theme is bound to bring the best out of creative director Brian Friedman who will no doubt create the campest visual enhancements of the series so far when the acts try to act even scarier than they usually are. Then on the Sunday show, Cheryl F-V is belting out her new single. I won’t make the obvious joke about Cheryl’s scary singing. See? I didn't make that obvious joke.
Strictly Come Dancing (BBC1, Saturday, 6.30pm & Sunday, 7.20pm)
Meanwhile over in Strictly-land they must be having a battle between the celebs to see who can do the traditional Monster Mash routine as they also crack open the fake cobweb canister and celebrate Halloween in classic style. And I don’t just mean the horrific dancing of Scott Mills and Judy Murray. On the Sunday results show there’s the additional treat of an Annie Lennox performance.
Doctor Who: Dark Water (BBC1, Saturday, 8.15pm)
For actual proper legitimate scares, look no further than the first in two-part season finale story on Who in which we finally get to know who or what the mysterious Missy character is, played by the fabulous Michelle Gomez off Bad Education, who’s popped up throughout this series whenever anyone dies. Rumours abound among Who fans as to Missy’s real identity. She herself has mentioned that the Doctor is somehow her boyfriend, and in this episode she seems to be in charge of some kind of version of Hell called the Nethersphere, where dead people are stored. Intriguingly, even in the preview version of the episode that we lucky TV critics get to see in advance, the crucial lines of dialogue in which Missy’s identity is revealed were cruelly cut out, leaving us totally hanging. The rest of the episode is deeply creepy and thrilling, anyway.
And don’t forget… Amid all the X Factor, Strictly and Who excitement, the excellent US drama Boardwalk Empire (Sky Atlantic, Saturday, 9pm) is ending tomorrow night for good. It’s the last we’ll see of ruthless but human New Jersey gangster Nucky, played superbly by Steve Buscemi, and he bows out in tremendous style.