**The X Factor Live (ITV, Saturday, 7.30pm & Sunday, 8.15pm) **
Clear your Saturday night because it’s the start of the X Factor live shows, and this first one lasts two and a half hours, so even if you foolishly go out and record it, you’re never going to find the time to watch the whole thing later. And yes, I know smug types who have Sky+ like to watch it on fast forward to the power of 12 so they can skip the adverts, but there’ll be lots of exciting ads for dairy products, too. So it’s just best to watch it live. The “theme” is Number Ones. As in hit singles that topped the charts. And each judge will bring back a wild card from their categories, too, which means there will be 16 acts performing in total. I have done the math. They’re also wheeling out the big pop guns for Sunday’s results show, with performances from Tay-Swif and Pharrell. As for the huge, all-important question of whether Dermot will “dance on” for first live show, he told me this week he wasn’t going to, but maybe he’ll change his mind at the last minute. After all, he does like to fly by the seat of his (tight) pants.
Homeland (Channel 4, Sunday, 9pm)
SPOILER ALERT! If you like US drama Homeland but for some reason never got round to watching the last season, I am about to ruin the ending in this preview of the new fourth series which starts this Sunday. Because the simple fact is Ginger Prince himself Damian Lewis isn’t in it any more, what with his character having been executed at the end of the third season. On the plus side, this means we don’t have to bother with his frankly tedious family any more, but I will miss him and his tortured facial expressions. Thankfully, the superb Claire Danes is still all present and correct, with her tortured facial expressions and frequent sobbing. She’s now stationed in Kabul, Afghanistan, and is in charge of sending drones to kill terrorists, while her former boss and chum Saul (Mandy Patinkin) struggles with a boring new job. It’s still a riveting show.
**Doctor Who: Mummy On The Orient Express (BBC1, Saturday, 8.35pm) **
A mummy monster wrapped in bandages. The Orient Express train flying through space. A bunch of passengers including crooner Foxes, who croons, and Frank Skinner, who’s a massive Who devotee and looks endlessly thrilled to be involved. And the Doctor unravelling the mystery of why it takes the Mummy 66 seconds to kill its victims. It all adds up to a gleefully fun episode.
And don’t forget… Strictly Come Dancing (BBC1, Saturday, 6.30pm) has a special guest judge in a totally random move, because it’s not like any of the usual judges are having a week off or anything. The one-off newbie is Donny Osmond, who once grabbed me for a slow dance when I went on Strictly: It Takes 2 many years ago. True story.