All the best Geordie Shore quotes from your fave RADGIES

PUAAAA jokes

chloe ferry marnie simpson

by Latifah Davis-Cole |
Published on

We all love a bit of Geordie Shore don’t we? Yup. Perhaps it's something in the air in Newcastle Upon Tyne that makes the cast so uniquely hilarious. They are all well-known for their funny one-liners – that nobody else says! Have a read down below at some of the funniest quotes from the cast – from Soctty T's innuendos to Vicky Pattison preferring to 'frig' with a cactus! …Yes a cactus. Ouch.

(Check out everything you need to know about the new series here, btw)

Charlotte Crosby Geordie Shore quotes

James Tindale

"Everyone knows me, I pull me pants down on the odd occasion. I was probably gonna have a wee on the floor."

"Tonight, we're hitting scary canary and I've got a hairy fairy! Bring it on!!!"

"I'm not going to go near Gary, because he reminds me of a bean sprout."

"Apparently, it's one degree. Mother Nature has given us one degree to play with and apparently, she takes that off us at night as it's minus one. What a f*cking bitch. I'm still not wearing a coat."

"We're just like a family that has sex with each other."

"Fast food… Everyone knows it's called that cause it makes you go faster… DUH!"

"Who doesn't know how to swim? Even sperm can swim!"

"He's trying to manipulate me and play me as a game of cards, I am not a game of cards, I am a game of kerplunk."

"This is the best day of me life. Better than the day I got my period and I felt like a woman."

"I'm free, I'm single and I'm ready for my clit to tingle."

Vicky Pattison Geordie Shore quotes

James Tindale

"It's autumn. The leaves are changing… Except the guys, they're still cunts."

"All you've gotta say when you're in Mexico is 'Dos Jogerbomb por favor' or 'Dos vodka red bull por favour.'"

"Lock up your sons, lock up your dads, lock up your grandads! No one's safe 'cause tonight I am pulling!"

"I'd rather frig myself off with a f*cking cactus than get with Beadle again."

Scotty T Geordie Shore quotes

James Tindale

"I might just whack my cock out now and see how many birds can shimmy under it. Mind your head."

"I grill more birds than George Foreman."

"I don't know if it's the bed that's making loads of noise or if my f*ckin' power sticks's got a lot more powerful but nee's one is getting any sleep tonight."

Sophie Kasaei Geordie Shore quotes

James Tindale

"So, we get to the chicken farms and there's chickens. Everywhere. Chicken to the left. Chicken to the right. Chicken to the front. It's making us want a Sunday dinner."

Chloe Ferry Geordie Shore quotes

James Tindale

"I'm gonna hit him with the best chat up line! …Do you like chicken dippers?"

(walks into tree) "Fuck off bitch! – What the fuck was that?!"

Gaz Beadle Geordie Shore quotes

James Tindale

"Get myself a little bit of dutch fluff and make her yodel. Like yodel ay oo oo, yodel ay oo oo."

"Just going to sleep and I see this head pop around the corner. Hair all over the place, she looked like the f*cking grudge or something."

Holly Hagan Geordie Shore quotes

James Tindale

"I've already slept with him so I don't get why he's trying so hard… I must have a magic vagina."

"Vicky is Margaret Thatcher. But less dead."

James Tindale Geordie Shore quotes

James Tindale

"Scott and Aaron's bromance is going away quicker than the girls with a kebab after a night out."

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