The new series of Celebrity Big Brother launched tonight with a STELLER line-up – alongside one Ms Katie Hopkins, who was immediately tasked with a special role by Big Brother.
Apprentice runner-up Katie was the first celeb into the brand new house – which this year has been given a 'twisted fairytale' theme – and she was asked to climb inside an enchanted mirror to give her thoughts on her fellow housemates as they arrived one by one.
PLOT TWIST: The two she picked as being the least entertaining would be the first up for the public vote.
Of course, this being Katie Hopkins, she sassily asked the mirror whether it had put on weight and got all eye-rolly when she received no response.
Here's what the rent-a-gob had to say about each of the housemates:
Ken Morley
"It's like he's just been let out of the care home and someone's going to come along any minute to look for him. He's got the look of a man who hasn't a clue what his agent has signed him up to. He's been stitched up."
Perez Hilton
"I wouldn't want to sit next to Perez on a bus, a plane, or in the confines of a house for more than ten minutes. I have no idea why he's dressed for active combat – where does he think he is?"
Alexander O'Neal
"He's a real disappointment. He may have been one of the biggest R n' B singers in the 80s, but here in 2015 he doesn't seem able to speak, which will be a real disadvantage in the CBB house. And those white sneakers? Straight from a charity shop. Ugh."
Nadia Sawalha
"Big Brother, I'm really quite cross. I'm a bit done with you. You've surrounded ME, a normal person, with a bunch of complete lunatics. I think Nadia could be a normal chick once she calms down, but who knows?"
Jeremy Jackson
"I don't even understand Jeremy. So he was some kid on TV when he was two? And he's here now, whatever age he is, being on Big Brother? If you've paid him more than a tenner, you're a fool."
Kavana
"Kavana? Inaudible muttering Well done, talent management, that's a terrific effort."
Michelle Visage
"Well, she might be a laugh once she's stopped waghahahaha-ing. I suppose."
Chloe Goodman
"Yep, she's got two assets and they're on show. That's the full extent of Chloe, I think. Next!"
Keith 'Cheggers' Chegwin
"Probably the best bloke, best of British. Good man."
Huh! Hoppers picked Chloe and Alexander as her two most boring housemates, so they'll be the first facing eviction tomorrow.
Katie was then told to run outside and enter the house again, pretending to the other contestants that she was the last one in. Oh - and Big Brother wants her to be all sweetness and light to her housemates for AT LEAST 24 hours. How will she cope? Tune in tomorrow at 9pm on Channel 5 to find out!
GALLERY: Celebrity Big Brother's 13 weirdest moments EVER!
Celebrity Big Brother's 13 weirdest moments
Feltz Meltz
In the first ever CBB in 2001 Vanessa Feltz has a meltdown and scrawls posh words all over a table:□
Na Na Neigh!
Dappy 'windmills' after jumping in the pool with Luisa.□
Heeeeeeere's Jackie!
Jackie Stallone's shock arrival in the house in 2003 was accompanied by the immortal line: 'Yeaaaah, Jaaaackie!'□
And the award for Politician of the Year goes to...
George Galloway pretended to be a pussy-cat in 2006. A nation shuddered.
Poppadomgate
Jade vs Shilpa in 2007 led to one of the most controversial CBB moments EVER and to Jade's silent eviction from the house.
Naked man alert!
Alex Reid gets a fake tan in the buff in 2010□
Jedward in their pants
Jedward get vajazzled by Amy Childs in 2011.□
Julie takes a trip to the fruitbowl
Julie Goodyear gets a little too personal with a banana in 2012 □
Frankie doesn't go to Hollywood
Frankie Cocozza and Nicola Maclean get hot in the hot tub in 2012.□
Lauren takes a tumble
Lauren Harries tripping up constantly in 2013.
Leo Sayer breaks out of CBB because of dirty pants
Yep, Leo skipped out of the CBB house because of his dirty pants. Erm, every heard of a washing machine L? Sayer popped into the diary room to “humbly request” new underwear as he didn’t want to use the CBB house’s washing facilities. When Big Brother refused, Sayer smashed the fire doors open and proceeded to struggle with two hefty security guards while shouting obscenities. Sounds too good to be true, right? Well, here's some video evidence:
Darryn Lyons weird, lumpy, bumpy "abs"
"WHAT THE HELL IS THAT?" was our general reaction to Darryn Lyon's lumpy, bumpy abs. Unsurprisingly the celebrity photographer admitted on the show that he had undergone a “contouring” procedure to remove fat around his muscles and give impression of abs. WOAH, so they're not natural? Get outta town! No, please, literally get out of town. We're terrified.
Verne Troyer drink driving
Verne Troyer has a head-on collision with the diary room after getting a bit tipsy. Then someone remixed it and set it to dance music. Cheers, internet.
The ultimate nightmare
2015 was the ‘Freak Show’ within a freak show as Katie and Katie buried the hatchet over their shopping task to become a two-headed monster.
Botched boob job agony
Katie needed a little extra support to collect her crown. "They wanted to pull me from the show, I had a really bad medical problem." No kidding.
Perez in panties
Perez Hilton had blazing rows with Calum and Katie. Oh, and danced in his dinosaur pants.
Drawn to each other
Summer 2015 brought us CBB’s best ever bromance. James Hill and Austin Armacost got down and dirty in bed, in play-fights, in a striptease…all over really.
Only this big
Stevi Ritchie revealed nasty secrets about his mini manhood, glow in the dark condoms (they light up your face!) and why sex with fiancé Chloe is like “going through the Dartford Tunnel”.