Things to say about your housemates when you know you have to live with them a bit longer: “Oh, her lasagne’s amazing and I love what she does with her hair.” Things not to say about your housemates when you’re still living with them: “He reminds me of a terrorist and her face looks like a Picasso painting that’s just been rescued from a skip.”
OK, so maybe what Katie Hopkins wrote about her Celebrity Big Brother contestants wasn’t quite that bad, but it was still pretty mean: she essentially slammed Alicia Douvall’s face and compared the ‘God Squad’ to Islamists.
Sheesh. Writing in her Sun column today, Katie said her fellow housemates are doing anything to grab attention off each other – including making up strange ailments.
“One inmate has so little wrong with her she has had to pretend to be a vegan who eats fish to create a little self-induced drama. Alicia and I do not see eye to eye. This is mainly because Alicia’s eyes are no longer where they should be,” she said.
“When she cries, tears come out from behind her ears.”
She went on to say that Alicia’s £1 million spent on plastic surgery was not well invested. “Donating some of the cash to her plastic surgeon to have his cataracts removed may have been a better move,” she added.
Here's what Alicia used to look like before all that surgery
Oh, and then she insulted the religious contingent of the group, saying Patsy Kensit, Nadia Sawalha and Perez Hilton decide what is acceptable and unacceptable.
“I was calling them the Sharia Massif but Big Brother asked me to cease and desist. Big Brother is a touch over-sensitive these days,” she wrote.
But she did concede that mixing with a whole bunch of different people has been good for her, and even admitted “Michelle Visage rocks”.
But how’s she going to cope when her least fave glamour model Katie Price enters the CBB house tonight? Find out at 9pm on Channel 5 – and join us over on @heatworld for lots of LOLs.