Tonight’s episode definitely made up for the OUTRAGE the football caused last night.
The camp mates were woken up with a morning of sexual innuendos – I mean who doesn’t want to wake up to a rumble in the jungle.
Then there was The Great Big Bush Bake Off. Vorders and Scarlett went head to head stuffing themselves with anus, nips and peen – and what a show it was. Only Scarlett was disappointed with the lack of garlic sauce to go with her camel nips. Can’t get the bush staff can you Moffatt?
We hope you don’t stand by the ‘what you won’t stick in your throat you won’t stick in your arse’ philosophy Scarlett hun, we don’t know if your hotmail-pal Stephen Hawkins would support it.
Next Adam officially pooped his pants, and it was absolutely magical. Joel and Adam had to stay in the abandoned bushman’s lodge, while Jordan and Wayne had to scramble through the jungle to transmit signals back to the lodge. They had to use a Morse code signal that Scarlett says ‘is just like olden day texting’.
Obviously this is I’m a Celebrity, and there was a shit-load of big-ass spiders in that bushman’s lodge. It’s a no from us.
These spiders had Adam bouncing around like the dog in the John Lewis Christmas advert. It was at this point that Adam decided that this life was not for him and he fully lost it. He brought us our second lot of tears since Wayne’s little outpour on Monday nights show.
When the boys returned back to camp with sweet F all, Larry once again became the nations favourite sweetheart. Adam explained to Larry ‘I cried Larry, I was a mess’, to which Larry replied ‘You’ll be a bigger man for it’. WHAT AN UTTER BABE.
In the bush telegraph Larry continued to explain that it is acceptable for men to cry and that all real men do. We say Larry Lamb for president!
Jordan then brought us our final lot of tears for this episode when he confided in Lisa that he’s missing his friends and his family. Jordan hun, have a sip of water (yep H20 not squash) and you cry them tears – you have Larry’s permission now, so go to town.
Tomorrow we get two new housemates; Radio DJ Danny Baker and Homes Under the Hammer star Martin Roberts. Danny reckons he won’t miss anything whist in the jungle, and Martin’s is going to struggle without his eight cups of coffee a day.
We hope one of them really causes some controversy in there and stirs up the big jungle pot of happiness. We all love a bit of dramz!