Fifty Shades Of Grey’s latest trailer is here - watch Jamie Dornan and Dakota Johnson getting steamy in the new full trailer based on the best-selling book.
Look! Jamie Dornan has his shirt off. Dakota is in her pants! Words are being said with sexual connotations! Good lord! Okay, we’ll admit. We haven’t actually seen this trailer yet - since it launched at the very ungodly hours of 2.10AM GMT, but we planned ahead, got this article ready ahead of time, and dragged ourselves out of bed to publish it for you because we’re just that damn nice.
If you’re watching this in the middle of the night, we won’t ask why you’re up so late. Maybe you’re an insomniac, maybe your neighbours are having a noisy party, maybe you are that neighbour throwing a party - if so, shame on you, it’s Friday morning!
But maybe, just maybe, you’re not even from the UK. You’re an overseas heat fan - or just a semi-naked Jamie Dornan fan, which is pretty much the same as being a heat fan - and you’re awake at this time, because it’s a completely normal time for you to be awake.
Or maybe you’re reading this article ages after it was published. Maybe it’s 10am on Friday and you’re having coffee. Maybe it’s Friday lunchtime – ooh, what are you having? Maybe it’s the year 2018 and the movie version of the final Fifty Shades book - Fifty Shades Freed - is about to be released and you just decided to take a break from your hover boots and robot butler to Google the original trailer for Fifty Shades Of Grey.
If so - HAIL FUTURE OVERLORDS. WE BRING YOU SALUTATIONS FROM THE PAST. It was a simpler time, Kim Kardashian’s naked bum and boobs dominated the headlines over more serious news, such the Philae rocket landing on a comet for the first time, several high profile deaths and a tiger being on the loose near Disneyland Paris.
Anyway Fifty Shades fans of the future, we hope you enjoyed this trailer. Otherwise we’ve screwed up our sleeping pattern for nothing. You better get to see some Dornan peen to make it worthwhile.
If the trailer above hasn’t satisfied your hunger for naked Jamie Dornan-ness, then check out the two teaser trailers below.
Fifty Shades Of Grey is released in UK cinemas 13th February 2015.