8 important bits from Game Of Thrones, Season 5, Episode 3

King Tommen - played by 17-year-old Dean Charles Chapman - is seen post-bonk with 33-year-old Natalie Dormer. Awkward. He tells her this is what he'd like to do all day, every day. Alright, play it cool, buddy.Once Tommen is, erm, done, it's not long before Queen Margaery Tyrell gets to work trying to manipulate him into shifting grumpy, eyebrow-raiser Cersei off to Casterly Rock. Cersei obviously declines.

We swing past Littlefinger's whorehouse, which is still doing a roaring trade, because if there's one thing that everyone in Game Of Thrones LOVES, besides killing, it's shagging. But soon they have to cease the former, for a bit of the latter.The High Septon (chief religious bloke) is beaten by the religious nuts, the Sparrows, along with newly skin-headed Lancel - the wine boy who used to help get Robert Baratheon sauced while he was off boar hunting, and also slept with Cersei, despite being her first cousin. Eww. The High Septon gets beaten bloody and has to march his old naked bum through town, feeling quite the fool. He gets imprisoned for being a terrible religious person.

Look it's Reek! Soz. We mean Theon Greyjoy, still looking very dishevelled and can you blame him? The poor lad is now sans peen. But that's not all, it looks like Sansa is going to have to marry the bastard - in both sense of the word - who mutilated Theon, Ramsay Bolton, even though his family killed both her mum and brother.Why? Well, this way she can become ruler of Winterfell and punish them from the inside. But it seems like Littlefinger also hopes to amass Bolton's forces to contend with the Lannisters…

Our favourite chums - Brienne and Pod - are getting along better than ever, and after opening up about how she fell in love with Renly Baratheon, Brienne agrees to train Pod to use a sword and become a knight. YAY.

Jon Snow (now Lord Commander of the Night's Watch) tells Stannis he DOESN'T want to become Jon Stark and have everything he ever wanted because of honour or some crap.JS then needs to appoint some deputy grumpy blokes for the Night's Watch. He appoints Ser Allister as First Ranger and tries to send Janos Slynt off to command Greyguard, a ruined fort on the wall.Slynt gets all sassy and refuses to obey Jon, so he gets dragged off for a good old-fashioned beheading. Echoing Ned Stark in the first-ever episode of GOT, Jon takes up the sword to execute him. At the crucial moment Slynt apologises, but Jon chops off his bonce all the same, while Stannis watches on approvingly. So it seems like Jon followed Stannis' advice about being ruthless; maybe Jon does care what Stannis thinks…

Ayra Stark gets impatient as she wants to get on with her kill-y list. She tells Jaqen H'ghar she's ready to become a faceless (wo)man, but has to ditch all of her possessions, including her dosh and Needle (!), after he asks how she can be 'no one' if she still has Ayra's stuff. She hides Needle and lobs the cash in the sea - surely it'd be better blowing it on some scrumptious salted meat, right?

Tyrion clocks a red priestess (there's more of them?!) convincing everyone that Daenerys Tagaryen is BAD NEWS. He convinces Varys to nip into a brothel and we see the Khaleesi is SO POPULAR that prostitutes are now parodying her, which is flattering, right? No? Meanwhile, Tyrion can't bring himself to romance his favourite lady of the night, as he's still too hung up on Shae, who he, erm, killed.Finally, Tyrion is captured by Daenerys Tagaryen's outcast advisor, Jorah Mormont, who tells Tyrion he's taking him to the queen… but which one does he mean?

We see him twitching under a sheet. That's all. But why's he under a sheet? Well, he was left all messed up from his fight with The Viper in Season 4. And Qyburn (who's treating him) told Cersei that Gregor Clegane may be left "changed" after he's done. Ooh-err.