If you have read heatworld ever you'll know that we are big, huge, MASSIVE fans of Geordie Shore.

And so imagine our wide-on at the thought of the Big Birthday Battle that sees old cast mates come back to the house for a fifth anniversary special.

It's pretty darn wide.

Our minds have been boggling at the thought of who will bang, who will fight and who will make a total show of themselves, and now we know!

Brace yourselves.

Oh, and SPOILERS ARE A-COMING. Just to be clear.

Ricci Guarnaccio seems to have not learned his lesson about in-house romance and tries it on with Marnie Simpson.

What will Aaron Chalmers have to say? We predict a pecs-off.

But you know who could calm that down? Jay Gardner. If only he wasn't too involved in a bromance with show newbie Marty McKenna.

Will that put Chloe Ferry's nose out of joint? Don't fret, pet. She gets it on with Daniel Thomas-Tuck! Hopefully he treats her a bit better than Scotty T and Marty from the party (self-proclaimed) have done. He couldn't do much worse.

Speaking of treating women badly (although TBF we could intro any of the Geordie males saying that), Kyle Christie is also back, and Gary Beadle and Charlotte Crosby are NOT happy about it.

#AWKS.

And as for who strips down to their kebab... Well maybe some things are best unspoiled.

Would you like to see a trailer for the show? You can!

Geordie Shore's Big Birthday Battle starts on Tuesday 10 May at 10pm on MTV.

Now feast your eyes on our in-depth investigation into the actual size of Gaz's parsnip, as told by people who know.

And find out what happened to old cast mates Greg Lake and Rebecca Walker who are forever in our hearts but not in the birthday show.