Kissing. Weird, innit? Weird that human beings have evolved to show affection to each other by rubbing the fleshy tube in their mouth on another person's fleshy tube. Weird that putting your lips – the same lips that go all flakey in the winter – on and around another person's lips means you like them.
Anyway. Massive tangent aside, Charlotte Crosby and Marty McKenna have caused quite the dramz in the Geordie Shore house just by pressing their tongues together, in scenes set to air on Tuesday 7 June.
This episode of Geordie Shore: Big Birthday Battle was filmed in mid-February 2016 – a good two months before Charlotte's heart-breaking ectopic pregnancy – and features the whole cast trussed up in fetish gear in a bid to throw the best night out in Newcastle.
During their drunken night, Charlotte and Marty end up flirting – and then things get WEIRD.
Marty pulls Charlotte to him and starts snogging her, while the other Geordie lads look on appalled.
If they were wearing pearls, you can betcha sweet ass they'd be clutching them.
Eventually Dan Thomas Tuck drags Marty away and Charlotte runs over to the girls, completely wracked with guilt over the tashing sesh.
"She was in such a good place with Gary. Things were finally starting to work out. And then what does she do? Ruins it all with that little (BLEEP)," Holly Hagan points out, sensibly.
"What the f&ck have I just done?" Charlotte says to the camera.
"I've f&cked up, man. Gary is going to f&cking kick off."
Gaz Beadle's not the only one about to go on the warpath – Chloe Ferry, who's held a candle for Marty for a while now – finds out when the gang get back to the house, and obviously completely loses it.
She rushes outside to the garden to confront a distraught Charlotte, telling her that she'll "never, ever, EVER" forgive her for this gross transgression of friendship, even though the kiss was literally five seconds long if that.
Catch the drama – and the fallout – on Tuesday at 9pm on MTV.