As you all probably know, heat are absolutely going radge about the ULTIMATE edition of Geordie Shore – it's a reality telly dream come true in our eyes.
We adore everything about it – the bucking, the accents, the fighting, the banter and the wild nights out on the Toon.
So when we heard about the epic Geordie Shore: Big Birthday Battle – which will see our Geordie faves spilt into two camps to try and host the most amazing themed nights out – we couldn't wait to speculate about who will become the reigning champions of party planning.
Will brains rule over brawn?
Let's have a look at what the two teams have to offer, shall we?
PLS NOTE: We're gonna keep adding to this every time an old face comes back...
Team Charlotte
**Charlotte Crosby **
Strengths:
Charlotte Letitia Crosby sure is a team player; she puts her all into every damn thing she does and she's made a fair few bucks as a result.
She's won reality telly show Celebrity Big Brother just by being HERSELF; she's smashed through fitness DVD records with Belly Blitz and poured her heart out in her best-selling autobiography.
There is literally nothing she won't endure to ensure she comes out on top and that's why we adore her.
Weaknesses:
Fraternising with the enemy, sucking off the enemy…you get the jist.
Also there is a strong possibility that Charlotte will get so smashed she'll forget who she is, where she is and what team she's actually in.
Marty McKenna
**Strengths: **
He's Marty from the party FOR A REASON GUYS – born and bred in the club; tequila running through his veins.
Plus, Marty and Chloe Ferry are literal comedy GOLD (it's a shame they're on separate teams, tbh).
**Weaknesses: **
Of course, Marty is still the new boy in the Geordie nest and we all know the original lads are like wolves – wary of letting a strange feral one into their pack.
Plus he can't handle his drink; he has one shot and spews EVERYWHERE. Nightmare.
Nathan Henry
Strengths:
Old Nathan is a bit of a goody-two-shoes and is most definitely the most sensible Geordie. Plus, he's dead clever and looks like he's good at numbers. He will probably end up as Char's personal PA.
Weaknesses:
Well being a bit sensible means you're normally wary of breaking the rules and we ALL know rules are meant to be broken. That's how you really win, isn't it?
**Holly Hagan **
Strengths:
She's well good at fancy dress our Holly and er, well, that's about it?
Weaknesses:
Not really being that arsed about winning, or work, or anything really.
LOVE YOU HOLLY.
Aaron Chalmers
Strengths:
Our Aaron is a grafter, he worked on an offshore oil rig before joining the cast, so he knows a thing or two about true grit and determination.
The tattooed FITLORD has also always got a huge cheeky grin on his face – an asset to any party.
Weaknesses:
Marnie Simpson is his one and only weakness in life, which will probably do him no favours whatsoever when it comes to talking to girls at work, looking at girls at work or even breathing the same air as other girls at work.
James Tindale
Strengths:
Well he has got some sweet, sweet dance moves in his locker.
Weaknesses:
He's got a full-time girlfriend, so there will be no necking on with party-goers to keep 'em happy (boo) and he is famous for being pretty DOZEY – like a big muscly bear with a good quiff.
Daniel Tuck-Thomas
Strengths:
He's always game for older women and he always goes that extra mile to piss off the opposition (which could be a good thing, maybe?)
Weaknesses:
Word on the street is no – but he does neck on with Chloe Ferry, causing THE WORST argument with Marty probably ever. Oh Dan.
Team Gary
Gary Beadle
Strengths:
Gary is so accustomed to getting what he wants, when he wants that the very concept of losing is alien to him.
He's slept with over 1,000 women, so the prolific pull of the parsnip will always attract partygoers from near and afar.
Weaknesses:
Gaz Beadle is not the same Gaz Beadle anymore. He's much more mature, got a softer quiff and is REALLY trying to make things work with Charlotte Crosby.
Will he put everything into it or will he be too distracted by love?
Marnie Simpson
Strengths:
She's the biggest and the most forthright flirt on the entire show – a trait that has got her in soooooooo much shit over the years. Still, it's always good to have someone on your team who can enchant men and women just by one fleeting glance.
Weaknesses:
The lure of Aaron being in the opposition team will certainly get in the way of Marnie focusing on work; we've already seen her sneak out to go and get busy (and naked) in a kitchen with her luuuuuurve.
Plus she hates work – remember the Marnie vs Vicky Pattison 'plate-gate'?
Chloe Ferry
Strengths:
Gary picked Chloe for his team first for A DAMN GOOD REASON – because she is the PARTY; she brings it more than anyone else ever has.
The rest of the cast seem pretty composed alongside this little crackers fireball.
Weaknesses:
Get a few tipples down Chloe and she turns into a truly beautiful dancer, give her too many and things turn traumatic and painful.
Chloe is literally a danger to the club and herself – which is her only weakness in life.
Sophie Kasaei
Strengths:
She's the original entertainer, the Geordie jester, and she didn't land a Geordie Tours job with boss Anna after she was booted off for nothing.
She's also got TONNES of experience shoving vodka bottles down the necks of innocent partygoers.
Weaknesses:
Hang on. Does she really have any? Well, there was that incident that made producers cart her off the show without any hesitation….
Could that happen again? We doubt it. Sophie has 1000000% learnt her lesson (we hope).
Chantelle Connelly
Strengths:
Er, fancy a lap dance?
Weaknesses:
Scotty T, having a limited understanding of girl code and getting tats of lads names willy-nilly. Let's hope she's moved on from last series.
Jay Gardner
Ricci Guarnaccio
Strengths
If you look past all of the years of Vicky/Ricci agg, he IS a very nice lad. A little bit brainier and mature than the rest of 'em – which could work in his favour especially as he's part of Team Gaz.
Weaknesses
Banging on about Vicky Pattison. WHEN WILL IT END?
Oh and he speaks so FAST we fear party-goers will find it real hard to what on earth he's banging on about.
Strengths:
Being the 'responsible' one – remember when he came back and saved everyone in Australia?
Weaknesses:
Being too much of a calming influence – WE WANT DRAMA.
**Kyle Christie **
Strengths
Have you seen him lately? Kyle Christie is an Adonis, carved by the Geordie gods. We're pretty certain he could balance a tray of tequilas on his head AND biceps – which is pretty handy if you want to get people smashed.
Plus, Kyle is like a 21ST century caveman, fiercely protective of his family when it all kicks off.
Weaknesses
Having the ability to piss the whole cast off just by breathing. LOL.
Geordie Shore: Big Birthday Battle is on Tuesdays, 10PM, only on MTV
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