They don’t care. They get mortal, they have fights, they have wild sex wherever they can, and they don’t give a damn that it's all on telly for anyone to see. They go the extra mile every single series, making their antics even wilder than before.
AND when we thought we’d seen it all (there has been 12 SERIES) Chloe Ferry and Marnie Simpson SHARE A DILDO IN TONIGHT’S FINALE.
CHRIST.
Condensing the Geordie Shore moments that shocked us to the inner core was a pretty hard task – we’re often shocked just a mere five minutes into a new episode…
So here you go, brace yourselves.
WARNING: This article contains SHOCKING and WILD scenes from the outset and throughout.
Holly Hagan’s poor series one boyfriend
Poor old whatshisface (apparently his name was Dan) worshipped the ground that Holly walked on back in the day. But unbeknownst to him, Holly was getting up to ALL SORTS while he was sat at home – praying to his Holly shrine.
Old Holly didn’t give a damn, she flirted with guys on nights out, went near Gary Beadle’s famous parsnip and was probably the wildest original cast member.
How the tables have turned, eh?
Charlotte Crosby weeing on Gary FOR THE FIRST TIME
At Ricci' Guarnaccio's house. In his Nan's bed.
Sophie Kasaei and Joel Corry up the bum
We can’t find a video of this, which is probably best.
Sophie and Joel get really mortal and decide to take their relationship to the bum level.
After getting completely plastered and running to the shag pad for the inevitable, Sophie turns to Joel and shouts: "What's with all the bum?! It's like a toe nail's gone right up the arsehole."
Sophie, a true poet of our time.
Ricci and Vicky Pattison’s awks engagement
OH GOD THE PLANE. REMEMBER THE PLANE.
We were shocked at this one; we're not going to lie, especially as they hate each other's guts these days.
Charlotte weeing in every single place apart from the toilet
Bins. Sinks. You name it. WILD.
Scotty T goes pure RADGE in Oz
When pulling competitions go waaaay too far.
The girls vs Marnie Simpson
When Marnie rocked up to the house way back in season seven, she didn't seem to give her relationship with the girls a second thought – focusing instead on getting acquainted with Scotty T and Gaz.
Which went down really well with the girls, of course.
Gary and Vicky
Yep, they had a weird little love affair in her last series and even ending up in the shag pad together - which means Gary has had his wicked way with every single lady in the house.
What an accolade.
Marnie kissing Kyle Christie in sweet, sweet revenge
Marnie caused one of the BIGGEST house party fights in the history of Geordie Shore by kissing her best mate Kyle to make Aaron Chalmers jealous.
Never a dull day when Marns is around.
Chloe's hot tub calamity
Because these 30 seconds are so good you couldn't even write 'em.
Taxi orgy
Oi-oi. Gary has recently admitted that this is his most memorable moment of his ENTIRE GEORDIE SHORE EXPERIENCE. Are we surprised? Nah.
Lesbian sex
Not even a cheeky neck on, we've seen tonnes of that. Yep, this current series of Geordie Shore marked the first time Chloe stuck her tongue inside Charlotte's vagina.
Why the hell not – we're all pals here.
Charlotte has since spoken out about their encounter and has stated that she is still 100% a dick detective.
"I am not a lesbian," said Charlotte.
"I actually like penis! Me and Chloe were just having a laugh. We are really good friends. We all have feelings for each other."
And we think our Saturday nights are bad. Corrrrr.
Geordie Shore: Big Birthday Battle begins on Tuesday 10 May at 10pm on MTV.
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