House of Cards: season 4’s most WTF? moments

WARNING: You would not even BELIEVE how many spoilers there are in here

frank underwood house of cards

by Sophie Hall |
Published on

Series three of *House of Cards *gave us some of the most debauched politics we've seen since George Galloway wanted to be the cat. We had Claire Underwood leaving Frank Underwood, a Costcutter version of Putin turning up, and of course, Doug Stamper being the absolute worst. Standard Doug.

Despite all this awfulness, Kevin Spacey's Southern drawl is the wind beneath our wings, so here we are, crawling back for 13 more hours of it in series four. Although we were NOT expecting some of these absolute WTF? moments along the way.

House of Cards
House of Cards ©HBO

Lucas is back!

Episode one immediately surprises us with the return of Lucas Goodwin, the unfortunate journo who clocked that Zoe Barnes hadn't been around much recently. For his troubles, Lucas was framed and thrown in jail for being a big killjoy, and now apparently spends his time getting off his prison buddies by serenading them with dirty-talk.

“You're so good with words!” says his post-orgasm cell mate, which is LOL because he used to be a writer until his career was unfairly ripped away from him!

House of Cards
House of Cards ©HBO

**The KKK picture **

Currently estranged, breaking the hearts of lovers of cold-blooded power couples everywhere, Claire and Frank spend the majority of the first half of series four throwing various political curveballs at each other. Claire strikes a humdinger when she sends out a photo of Frank's father shaking hands with a gentleman in a rather long, white hat. Oops, it's the KKK! This marital spat just got dark.

House of Cards
House of Cards ©HBO

**Frank shot! **

After three seasons' worth of disposing of others, it seemed inevitable that at some point Frank would get a dose of his own medicine. Medicine made of BULLETS, that is. Yep, Frank gets shot, by none other than the vengeful Lucas, angry from all that dirty-talk.

House of Cards
House of Cards ©HBO

Meechum dead!

Perhaps more tragic than Frank being shot, of course, is the death of our House of Cards king of hearts, Edward Meechum. Oh, Meechum. Who could forget all those classic quotes, including: “Is there anything else I can do for you?” and… all the others.

Meechum, you were a tall glass of sex and we will never forget you, or that time you had a threesome (Meech-some).

Seth grayson house of cards

Doug nearly suffocates Seth Grayson

For anyone worrying Doug was being far too normal in the first couple of episodes of season four, never fear. After becoming suspicious of Seth Grayson, Doug puts a glass of ice over his face and watches him nearly suffocate. Welcome back, weird Doug!

House of Cards
House of Cards ©HBO

Zoe Barnes!!!!!!

Probably the most upsetting thing about Zoe Barnes' shock death in season two was the fact that we couldn't yell “ZOE BARNES” in our best South American accents anymore. Thanks to one of Frank's abstract coma dreams, however, she's back! (ZOE BARNES!) Complete with a new pixie crop (they must have great hairdressers down in Frank's Coma Dream Land), she serves as some sort of ghost of guilt while straddling fellow Underwood victim Peter Russo like they're in the middle of a perfume advert, going “Shush!” for no reason whatsoever. Deep.

doug stamper house of cards

**Doug basically kills a guy by bumping Frank up the donor transplant list **

Doug goes Premium Doug when it comes to finding Frank an organ donor, yelling at the health secretary until she changes the donor transplant list so a man hours from death is put behind Frank. He dies. Oh, Doug.

Frank House Of Cards
Frank House Of Cards ©HBO

Frank nearly tells the secretary of state about ALL the bad things he did

We almost have a heart attack when Frank flagrantly tells the secretary of state that he murdered Zoe Barnes and Peter Russo. Obviously he counters it with a “LOL JK” counter-remark, but we still dislocated our jaw in horror all the same.

Doug Stamper House of Cards
Doug Stamper ©HBO

**Doug courting Frank's donor's widow **

Some people find love at social gatherings. Some people find love online. Doug finds love with the people whose husbands he's arranged to be killed so he can steal their liver for his boss. Doug, you sure you don't wanna just download Tinder, mate?

House of Cards
House of Cards ©HBO

**Claire gets it on with Tom Yates and then things get really weird **

After getting a bit too closely intertwined in the Underwoods' lives last time, Tom Yates, the writer man is back – not that he gets much writing done. Instead, he starts an affair with Claire, and then has breakfast with her and Frank the day after, with Frank approving the affair. Lads!

Claire House Of Cards
Claire House Of Cards ©HBO

**Claire runs for vice president **

After a hard couple of weeks of comas and KKK photos, the Underwoods put aside their differences for the sake of some of the most unrealistic politics in the world, such as Claire being allowed to go from First Lady to vice president in one fell swoop. That's almost as unfeasible as Donald Trump running for – oh no.

House of Cards
Tom Hammerschmidt ©HBO

Terrorist abduction

Things get very, very real when a fictional Islamic terrorist group called the ICO start getting involved in proceedings late on in the series. When they kidnap a family, the President makes a horrifying decision, which will distract from the fact he's about to be outed for many of his crimes by journalist Tom Hammerschmidt – letting the hostage die, and declaring war. Yes we can!

House of Cards
House of Cards ©HBO

That final scene

If our blood hadn't curdled enough watching Frank and Claire merrily utilise terrorists, then the final 20 seconds pretty much turn us into a weird, blood smoothie. Why? BECAUSE CLAIRE CAN TURN TO THE CAMERA TOO NOW. CLAIRE CAN SEE US. CLAIRE ALWAYS KNEW. CLAIRE IS WATCHING US ALL RIGHT NOW. CLAIRE IS US. CLAIRE IS OMNIPOTENT.

The fact that Claire has now unlocked the breaking the fourth wall achievement completely and utterly floored us. We look forward to being constantly freaked out throughout the entire of season five wondering who the hell is going to look at us next.

House of Cards season four is available on Netflix now.

Just so you know, we may receive a commission or other compensation from the links on this website - read why you should trust us