Keith Lemon is lying flat on his kitchen floor pretending to be a tiger. The reception isn’t great in his north London home (“Too posh round here!” he shouts), so he’s under the kitchen table where the signal is a bit better (the tiger is just impromptu). The line might be a bit dodgy at times, but there’s nothing off about the Celebrity Juice star’s company today. He’s on top cackling form, as we veer through everything from being punched at school to erotic dreams about Kylie.
The reason we’re here is to chat about Keith’s new podcast Back Then When, which he co-presents with none other than ex-heat editor, radio and TV presenter Lucie Cave. The two are a highly engaging comedy duo, as is the premise for the podcast, which sees them travel back in time to the late ’90s and early noughties ,interviewing the crème de la crème of celebs from that era.
The first series features an impressive roll call, from Steps, Five and Will Mellor, to Baby Spice, Kimberley Walsh and Natalie Imbruglia. From rock ’n’ roll tales of playing Snake on Nokia phones (Will Mellor) to Hollyoaks flat shares (Will again), and being violently hungover on Sunday morning kids telly shows (Kimberley), Back Then When is a riotous trip back to an iconic time in celebrity culture. So, let’s hear a bit more about it...
If we went back to the ’90s, what would your kitchen look like?
It would be me mum’s kitchen, with all pine cupboards. I remember we had some sort of saloon doors going into the area where there was a mirror, where I’d often go and just look at meself and think, “I wonder if my hair will ever go brown?” But it never did. But as I grew up, I grew up to enjoy my ginger hair. Although I was speaking to Sharon Osbourne recently, and she said in America you’re not allowed to say ginger, and you have to fill out a compliance form before you go on telly. And I said, “Yeah, but I have got ginger hair.” And she said, “Well, you’re not allowed to say it.” You can’t say anything now, can you?
So, if you went on American TV, you couldn’t describe your own hair as ginger?
I guess I could because I am ginger, and I’m not going to get offended. But I do think ginger people get a hard time. Not that I care because I like myself, but I think it’s terrible that kids with low self- esteem are getting loads of grief about it. People just laugh at ginger kids getting picked on. I remember at school being punched for having ginger hair, but again, I didn’t give two shits because I thought I looked better than the guy punching me. I went out with a ginger girl, but it was sort of weird. It just looked like me from behind.
There’s an image...
Two of me, romancing me.
Can you explain the concept of Back Then When in a nutshell?
It’s going back to a time when it was simple and lovely. Films were better and so was music. You could go to Woolworths and buy it and walk home with it in your hand. The guests are all celebrities of that time: Natalie Imbruglia, Steps, Five, Johnny Vaughan, who I was totally in awe of at the time. I used to love The Big Breakfast. I know these people are still around, but they were in magazines back then. That’s the basis of the podcast – I get a magazine and we interview someone from that magazine.
You have a lot of celeb pals, don't you?
I love it when we have a guest on the podcast who's also a friend. So, the last one we did was Emma Bunton, who’s a very good friend of mine. [Emma lives down the road from him, and is Keith’s geographically nearest showbiz friend.] She said, “Can we do it via Zoom?” And I said, “We can’t do it via Zoom, it don’t work. I’m supposed to have a time machine!” So, she just came round my house and we did it in my living room. Will Mellor’s a good friend of mine – you know he was Jambo in Hollyoaks? Looked like a budget Eminem. With bleached hair, if you remember? I just feel so lucky really, that I'm being... It's not work really, is it? It's chatting to mates that I socially with. I love that, and it's definitely one of the perks of the job.
Did you literally just ring around your mates and ask them to come on the podcast?
Some of them I did. I don’t have the number for anyone in Steps, but I know Five a little bit. I’m always dragging me mates into things, I owe them a lot of favours.
How did you and our Lucie meet?
She was a presenter on Trouble TV and I was a guest. I dragged her into a sketch many years ago and we’ve been friends ever since. We used to both have hair similar to Anthea Turner and Nicky Clarke the hairdresser.
Tell us a great nostalgic showbiz story...
Scott and Ritchie from Five were telling us they’d been at a festival and they went back to the hotel with Liam Gallagher, who was also staying there. And Liam Gallagher goes, “Do you want to come up to my room?”
Uh-oh...
Yeah, and they were like, “Alright”, and they went up to the room with Liam Gallagher, and do you know what they did?
What?
He really wanted to play Bop It.
Bop It?
You know that game? So, they sat and played that with Liam Gallagher! [Cackles.] I don’t know if they thought it was going to be some drugs session. And then Will Mellor told us he had a dream about having a bath with Scott Mills and Holly Willoughby. I’ve had a bath with Holly in a dream and Kylie, I think. So, that’s one step closer to meeting her. Actually, I have met Kylie, on the red carpet once, and she was lovely. I asked her to come on Celebrity Juice and she said, “I’ll think about it”, which is showbiz for no. So, she never did.
When you had Peter Andre on, did you ask him about his alleged chipolata?
I think I did, yeah. I think he compared it to a Sky TV remote, which is weird thinking of him at home, by himself, putting his tail next to the Sky remote. [Cackles.] His tail! He’s a lovely bloke, though, you can’t say anything bad about him.
Would you like to have Britney in your time machine? She’s a noughties legend...
I’d be a bit scared that I’d ask something wrong. Sometimes I don’t think, and she’s a bit troubled, isn’t she? Her being a bit troubled could get me into trouble. I see her on Instagram and she seems to be getting all her clothes off at the minute. That’s what people normally do at the start of their career, togetattention.Whyshe’s doing that, I don’t know.
What were you doing back then when?
I was Avid Merrion in 2002 [Keith's alter ego from his parody sketch Bo'Selecta!]. Twenty years ago. Weird. I don't think I was friends with any celebrities then because everyone was scared of me. [The reception cuts out, and when Keith comeback he's moved on to talking about Celebrity Juice]. It's the final one in November. We're doing two episodes – one is going to be like a big Christmas party, and the other one is a retrospective one all about old times, which is a bit like Back Then When. Maybe I should be a guest on the podcast and interview myself.
Celebrity Juice has been going since 2008. Are you sad it's ending?
You feel a bit sad, don't you? You know why? Because you've got to find a real job. I'm going to have to fill in application forms and go to Sainsbury's or Tesco. I don't know, I don't know what I'm going to do next. I'll probably just sit at home making models. [Laughs.] I'm actually making a model now, I was when you called me. I can't sit still, you see, I've always got to be doing something. I can't just sit on me arse.
Have you spoken to your mate Holly since all the hoo-ha around Queuegate?
Yeah, I was in the studios last week, I was on Good Morning Britain. I popped in to see Holly and Phil – they had a horrible time of it, didn’t they?
I gave her a hug and it was a really long hug, like a Davina McCall hug. I don’t know if you’ve ever hugged Davina McCall, but she hugs for a really long time. So, by the time me and Holly had finished hugging, she said, “Go and hug Schofield as well, because I think he’s found it hard.” So, I went to see Schofield, and later on I got a lovely message via Holly’s make-up artist saying it had been a much- needed joy. So, that was nice. That was me mission – they were having a difficult time, so I went in and talked about myself, showed them some videos I’ve made and laughed, and we had all that.
Have you ever jumped a queue?
I wouldn’t jump the queue for anyone or anything, to be honest. I don’t think anything’s good enough to queue for. I’m not being miserable. [Takes a breath and bellows] If you think something’s good, just wait for queue to go down!
Back Then When is available to download or listen to on Apple podcasts and Spotify