Prepare for a proper muggy ranking.
We're obsessed Love Island for many different reasons, but there is one thing that no one can deny. The sex scenes are great. They’re awkward, they’re cringe worthy, very occasionally they’re even sweet (no? okay, yeah us neither) and you can almost guarantee that some sort of explosive drama will go down the next day.
We’re all for promoting safe sex, so if you take anything away from this article, let it be the wise words of Nathan Massey: ‘’Wrap up before you slap up.’’
Love Island 2017: Jessica Shears and Dom Lever have sex in the hideaway
Fake candles but real romance, right? Who knows. But it happened and both Jess and Dom seem to be going strong - so that’s all and good, for now.
31/100 and an apology, but you bored us.
Love Island 2017: Montana Brown and Alex Beattie Necking side-by-side with Olivia Attwood and Chris Hughes
After being dumped by Dom, Montana soon found solace in another Love Island member - Alex. We didn’t get much of a lead up to the coitus that took place between these two, but they sure did do the deed.
Things looked rather awkward between the two as they were rustling around beneath the duvet, trying to get comfortable. We bet Montana woke up the next morning with a bad neck.
We didn’t see much of Olivia and Chris but yeh, they did it.
43/100
Love Island 2017: Montana Brown and Alex Beattie...again
Somehow, these two managed to do what no other parent can do when raising a new baby...have sex. Unfortunately they were interrupted by Kem throwing their baby at them. Poor thing, she'll be scarred for life.
61/100 and kudos to you.
Love Island 2017: Camilla Thurlow and Jamie Jewitt's have romantic sex
Camilla and Jamie were completely and utterly adorable when they finally sealed the deal. The couple were seen giggling and spooning and it was all just too cute for us to handle.
Camilla and Jamie are no doubt favoured to win the show, especially after their recent heart to heart about Camilla’s insecurities. Bless.
Jamie seems to be the only bloke on the Island who does not feel the need to chat about their sex life, as well as having respect for others relationships. We fell in love with him even more in last night's episode as he scolded Liv and Sam for sabotaging Gabby's plan for Marcel, as if a daddy telling off his children…
Oh and then he just goes and nails the baby challenge...if there was a dilf if ever I saw one...someone hold us while we swoon.
61/100
Love Island 2017: Amber Davies and Kem Cetinay rolling in the deep
Everyone loves Amber and Kem and many are rooting for them (they’re just so endearing, aren’t they?) One of the most amusing sex scenes has to be their afternoon delight. The two were seemingly bored and made it their mission to find an exciting place to have sex. However, they soon retreated to the simple place that was Nathan’s bed because, why not?
39/100 because it wasn't a particularly lengthy session now was it?
Love Island 2017: Marcel Somerville and Gabby Allen…oh wait
There has been a lot of speculation on whether Gabby’s feelings for Marcel are real or whether she is ‘fake news’, but she has made it clear that she is looking forward to having sex with Marcel outside the villa…oh wait. That was a lie.
0/0
Love Island 2016: Zara Holland and Alex Bowen sex scene
AKA probably the most unfortunate decision ever made by a person on this earth, ever.
(Olivia Buckland look away now!)
Series 2 saw newbie Alex sleep with Zara on the first night in the hideaway and to say it caused drama would be an enormous understatement.
It would be cruel to make this the winner, what with the excruciatingly awkward aftermath in which Zara was DETHRONED and stripped of her title of Miss Great Britain 2015 after the one night stand- WHICH IS TOTALLY SEXIST AND WRONG BTW… but OMG did it make for good TV.
POOR ZARA.
30/100 and a big hug for Z, she’ll always be Miss GB 2015 to us.
Love Island 2016: Cara De La Hoyde gives Nathan a… helping hand.
It all started off a nice, romantic evening in the villa.
After snuggling up to his new island romance and whispering sweet nothings into Cara’s ear: ‘’It feels like we’ve known each other for a life time’’, Nathan finds the courage to pop the big question: ‘’could you just wank me off please?’’
And low and behold, it worked! Complement complement complement question… works like a charm.
It doesn’t seem surprising they’re expecting a baby together now, does it?! Even though they have recently broken up :(
We’re confused as to how such a silver-tongued devil could ever lose their other half? It will forever remain a mystery.
24/100- Because we really did not need to see the glee on Nathan’s face as he had his fun.
Love Island 2016: Rykard Jenkins and Rachel Fenton sex scene
Rykard and Rachel spent a night in the hideaway together and Rykard took the opportunity to walk the nation through a Guide to Seduction: 101.
His tried and tested steps included:
N’awh.
80/100- for Rykard’s later dramatic departure, v. romantic.
Love Island 2016: Adam Maxted and Katie Salmon
In a strange turn of role playing events the two islanders begin the night of seduction in full clown costume… we’re sure there was some context but we’re gonna choose to ignore it, its funnier that way
And hey, we aren’t ones to judge.
Unfortunately for us all, the most explicit part of this scene is the offensively close shot of Adam’s gaudy boxers- complete with bulge.
Taking a note from Rykard’s book, Adam decided to give Katie an innocent butt-focused massage, we totally get it, the lumber takes a lot of stress.
Poor Adam, he wins the award for trying the hardest, really 10/10 for effort, he took all the right steps
50/100- Sure, they didn’t go the whole way, but points for being experimental with the clown thing.
Love Island 2016: And the winners are…Terry Walsh and Emma-Jane Woodhams!
It really has been the knockout of all the series’.
Terry and Emma shocked the entire nation and sent fellow islanders fleeing from their beds to cower in the corners of the room when they decided to have a bedtime rumble. And that really is saying something!
Their shameless display becomes even funnier when it emerged they thought they had outsmarted the producers by getting on top of the sheets which would ‘never be aired’… oh guys, how wrong you were.
Haven’t you ever heard of editing?!
As islander Olivia Buckland eloquently put it: "they had blinkers on, like horses do, and they just carried on."
Anyway, here it is. Enjoy. Or is that weird to say?
69/100
For being a truly dirty duo.
And, for shocking a house of couples who were doing the exact same thing, just under the duvet.
NOW READ: All the contestants confirmed for Love Island 2018
Love Island 2018 contestants (slider)
Laura Anderson
Age: 29Occupation: Cabin CrewFrom: Stirling, Scotland
Dani Dyer
Age: 21Occupation: BarmaidFrom: East London
Hayley Hughes
Age: 21Occupation: ModelFrom: Liverpool
Kendall Rae-Knight
Age: 26Occupation: Retail ManagerFrom: Blackpool
Samira Mighty
Age: 22Occupation: West End PerformerFrom: London
Niall Aslam
Age: 23Occupation: Student and Construction WorkerFrom: Coventry
Eyal Booker
Age: 22Occupation: ModelFrom: London
Adam Collard
Age: 22Occupation: Personal Trainer and Gym DirectorFrom: Newcastle
Jack Fincham
Age: 26Occupation: Stationary Sales ManagerFrom: Kent
Dr. Alex George
Age: 27Occupation: A&E DoctorFrom: Carmarthen, West Wales
Wes Nelson
Age: 20Occupation: Electrical and Nuclear Systems Design EngineerFrom: Staffordshire