Dalston, 2016. Early morning. Cold. Plaid-clad people shudder in doorways. Someone is holding a boombox in the queue for the salt beef bagels. A man with a moustache rides a Penny Farthing onto a number 8 bus. ‘Dalston,’ the wind seems to whisper. ‘Superstorrrrrrre.’ And there, as far as the eye can see, are actual grown up men with a single braid in their hair.
And why do these men exist? Because of Harry Styles, that’s why, who has finally got a new haircut, sort of, in the form of a Monica-from-Friends proto-cornrow.
Well, yes, sort of. One Direction’s stylist and hairdresser situation Lou Teasdale shared a photo of Harry with a single braid and the caption, “Ladies and gentleman, my male grooming skillz”. We’re assuming it is what’s known as a ‘joke haircut’, but did that stop the One Direction fans going absolutely mad? It did not stop the One Direction fans going absolutely mad.
“Khkhkhkhk,” said one. “Was geht bei dem?” said another. One fan got in a fight with another, as always, saying: “HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA and who are you to tell me to go and die? I am me and you are you, I don't like Harry's new hairstyle but i love him, look I don't care if you like it but you should respect others... Or at least you can be less rude, bc you are honey”. Who knew a simple hair braid could be so divisive? We will look back on this day, in centuries to come, the moment that sparked the war. Archduke Franz Ferdinand 2.0.
Anyway: more Harry Styles minor hairstyle news as and when we get it.