Cannes: a glamorous affair, right? Not always, it would seem...
All the Cannes 2014 fashion don'ts including sideboobs, crowns and '80s throwbacks
![Elena Lenina](https://images.bauerhosting.com/legacy/lifestyle-legacy/27/70689/c0980/00404/f2d4f/d1d42/f2f50/elena-lenina-cannes_620x713.jpg?auto=format&w=1440&q=80)
Elena Lenina
Dressing as a red carpet on the red carpet, obvs
![Elena Lenina](https://images.bauerhosting.com/legacy/lifestyle-legacy/27/3910b/81af4/3da23/cec2b/547e2/0e846/elena-lenina1-cannes_620x713.jpg?auto=format&w=1440&q=80)
Elena Lenina
When we said statement necklaces were on trend, this is not what we had in mind...
![Eva Longoria](https://images.bauerhosting.com/legacy/lifestyle-legacy/4d/7f177/a9123/a60c4/8362e/fb35c/ba101/eva-longoria-cannes_620x713.jpg?auto=format&w=1440&q=80)
Eva Longoria
Eva's just discovered her dress has been sabotaged at the boob
![Nicole Kidman](https://images.bauerhosting.com/legacy/lifestyle-legacy/03/2a1a5/db9ab/b8566/753f9/70384/8615d/nicole-kidman-cannes_620x713.jpg?auto=format&w=1440&q=80)
Nicole Kidman
Part mermaid, part Game Of Thrones
![America Ferrera](https://images.bauerhosting.com/legacy/lifestyle-legacy/b1/7db5f/6745f/58d58/576c5/c3016/622a5/america-ferrera-cannes_620x713.jpg?auto=format&w=1440&q=80)
America Ferrera
Here comes the bride. And the boobs
![Frederique Bel](https://images.bauerhosting.com/legacy/lifestyle-legacy/5f/0900b/982eb/9f6a6/85000/62fc6/34df0/frederique-bel-cannes_620x713.jpg?auto=format&w=1440&q=80)
Frederique Bel
Been practicing making snowflakes on your boots, have you?
![Karlie Kloss](https://images.bauerhosting.com/legacy/lifestyle-legacy/eb/3140b/c3d20/06a26/550d6/26923/1150e/karlie-kloss-cannes_620x713.jpg?auto=format&w=1440&q=80)
Karlie Kloss
Just got out of bed did we? That's the only excuse we could think of for a lace nightie and no shoes
![Paris Hilton](https://images.bauerhosting.com/legacy/lifestyle-legacy/80/011e1/b9970/93d56/0044b/8791b/9c376/paris-hilton-cannes_620x713.jpg?auto=format&w=1440&q=80)
Paris Hilton
Nothing too extravagant, as per usual
![Petra Nemcova](https://images.bauerhosting.com/legacy/lifestyle-legacy/81/6d3b4/32804/61b3e/ff8fd/1191e/96ac3/petra-nemcova-cannes_620x713.jpg?auto=format&w=1440&q=80)
Petra Nemcova
Er, Petra? Pants were made for a reason
![Adriana Lima](https://images.bauerhosting.com/legacy/lifestyle-legacy/9c/19d05/3336c/b6f90/690b9/38d81/c2d28/adriana-lima-cannes_620x713.jpg?auto=format&w=1440&q=80)
Adriana Lima
We didn't realise full-length silk body stockings were acceptable on the red carpet. Oh wait, they're not
![Marion Cotillard](https://images.bauerhosting.com/legacy/lifestyle-legacy/0d/ab0c1/f588f/8b321/751a0/e061b/3db94/marion-cotillard-cannes_620x713.jpg?auto=format&w=1440&q=80)
Marion Cotillard
Not even gorgeous Marion can pull off wearing a cloud
![Christina Hendricks](https://images.bauerhosting.com/legacy/lifestyle-legacy/85/fab79/2a31c/c2ad2/8ef68/323e1/a56e1/christina-hendricks-cannes_620x713.jpg?auto=format&w=1440&q=80)
Christina Hendricks
If shoes make your feet look like hooves, then they're probably not worth buying, love
![Eva Green](https://images.bauerhosting.com/legacy/lifestyle-legacy/95/39bb3/4aaf9/398c2/95a2f/17028/3290f/eva-green-cannes_620x713.jpg?auto=format&w=1440&q=80)
Eva Green
Never mind Penny Dreadful, this camel-toe inducing jumpsuit signals Eva Dreadful unfortunately
![Hilary Swank](https://images.bauerhosting.com/legacy/lifestyle-legacy/c8/7cfe3/d6985/41ee1/18f54/04653/194a4/hilary-swank-cannes_620x713.jpg?auto=format&w=1440&q=80)
Hilary Swank
A fuchsia pink cummerbund? Why not? THIS IS WHY NOT
![Hofit Golan](https://images.bauerhosting.com/legacy/lifestyle-legacy/80/0e08b/914e5/167c4/01e31/7c2f6/f557b/hofit-golan-cannes_620x713.jpg?auto=format&w=1440&q=80)
Hofit Golan
A bit more Angelina leg inspo, and not much underwear by the looks of it
![Jessie Ware](https://images.bauerhosting.com/legacy/lifestyle-legacy/18/77584/c1c07/1e72a/ecfe1/4ac1d/336b9/jessie-ware-cannes_620x713.jpg?auto=format&w=1440&q=80)
Jessie Ware
Old curtain tassels don't really create the most flattering of tops
![Julianne Moore](https://images.bauerhosting.com/legacy/lifestyle-legacy/2f/962eb/5632e/113a0/454b1/7e3ad/da7f9/julianne-moore-cannes_620x713.jpg?auto=format&w=1440&q=80)
Julianne Moore
That's a flattering colour. NOT
![Julianne Moore](https://images.bauerhosting.com/legacy/lifestyle-legacy/8d/51f22/85894/75c1d/58785/7e575/f0dc8/julianne-moore1-cannes_620x713.jpg?auto=format&w=1440&q=80)
Julianne Moore
Only one word comes to mind: sweaty
![Kelly Rutherford](https://images.bauerhosting.com/legacy/lifestyle-legacy/cc/0b605/7936d/b94d8/ba4a2/29451/89d48/kelly-rutherford-cannes_620x713.jpg?auto=format&w=1440&q=80)
Kelly Rutherford
All just a bit too see-through for our liking
![Monica Bellucci](https://images.bauerhosting.com/legacy/lifestyle-legacy/d1/4727f/07a78/c7b51/3d051/bb40c/4b60c/monica-bellucci-cannes_620x713.jpg?auto=format&w=1440&q=80)
Monica Bellucci
Totally tacky, not to mention ageing. Ew no, Monica
![Naomi Watts](https://images.bauerhosting.com/legacy/lifestyle-legacy/c6/605e8/9b86c/aff11/ef125/0bb89/8d06f/naomi-watts-cannes_620x713.jpg?auto=format&w=1440&q=80)
Naomi Watts
Well someone's a big fan of Madonna in the '80s...
![Riley Keough](https://images.bauerhosting.com/legacy/lifestyle-legacy/69/9ee0d/6250a/195a1/7b01b/0b747/579d6/riley-keough-cannes_620x713.jpg?auto=format&w=1440&q=80)
Riley Keough
Kind of amazing, kind of bin baggy
![Rita Ora](https://images.bauerhosting.com/legacy/lifestyle-legacy/d1/ac311/d4fe5/df24a/7eced/8b686/5db55/rita-ora-cannes_620x713.jpg?auto=format&w=1440&q=80)
Rita Ora
Looked in that pool behind you for scaly outfit inspo did you?
![Rosario Dawson](https://images.bauerhosting.com/legacy/lifestyle-legacy/44/2fa33/77864/12d01/dc40c/0a3cd/18469/rosario-dawson-cannes_620x713.jpg?auto=format&w=1440&q=80)
Rosario Dawson
That red trim seems to be very unfortunately placed
![Rosario Dawson](https://images.bauerhosting.com/legacy/lifestyle-legacy/50/54575/a123c/01cbb/d8f05/d16b9/17c52/rosario-dawson2-cannes_620x713.jpg?auto=format&w=1440&q=80)
Rosario Dawson
We didn't realise Neil Buchanan was now a fashion designer
![Salma Hayek](https://images.bauerhosting.com/legacy/lifestyle-legacy/b7/27a36/1e595/c70a6/67b78/8c175/27864/salma-hayek-cannes_620x713.jpg?auto=format&w=1440&q=80)
Salma Hayek
Bringing a whole new meaning to the phrase 'matching your shoes to your dress'
![Tamara Ecclestone](https://images.bauerhosting.com/legacy/lifestyle-legacy/54/eb442/51530/928ec/d90a7/e3bdc/58878/tamara-ecclestone-cannes_620x713.jpg?auto=format&w=1440&q=80)
Tamara Ecclestone
Watch out Tamara! The same saboteur of Eva Longoria's dress is after you too
![Victoria Silvstedt](https://images.bauerhosting.com/legacy/lifestyle-legacy/da/d9197/f7bbc/9bd42/61c58/bca06/3030b/victoria-silvstedt-cannes_620x713.jpg?auto=format&w=1440&q=80)
Victoria Silvstedt
Quality Street wrappers seem to suddenly be Cannes-piration
![Victoria Silvstedt](https://images.bauerhosting.com/legacy/lifestyle-legacy/dd/d9070/c66cf/932f4/98f9a/eaf1c/004a8/victoria-silvstedt2-cannes_620x713.jpg?auto=format&w=1440&q=80)
Victoria Silvstedt
And so do Christmas baubles
![Victoria Silvstedt](https://images.bauerhosting.com/legacy/lifestyle-legacy/9d/37ba9/0f613/5bd4b/8a4d1/143fa/2aea5/victoria-silvstedt3-cannes_620x713.jpg?auto=format&w=1440&q=80)
Victoria Silvstedt
Completing her hat trick of style disasters in yellow florals completed with EastEnders style accessories
![Zoe Saldana](https://images.bauerhosting.com/legacy/lifestyle-legacy/13/c5096/1456b/ff159/4d0e2/998fe/f6ad6/zoe-saldana-cannes_620x713.jpg?auto=format&w=1440&q=80)
Zoe Saldana
Just cos it's Versace doesn't mean it's nice...
![Natasha Poly](https://images.bauerhosting.com/legacy/lifestyle-legacy/09/b08bf/16e51/5bd69/dc868/d3439/14ef3/natasha-poly-cannes_620x713.jpg?auto=format&w=1440&q=80)
Natasha Poly
When in doubt, wear a hammock. At least you can have a nap on the red carpet, eh?