All the Cannes fashion don’ts including sideboobs, crowns and ’80s throwbacks

Oh Cannes - what have you done to these people?!?!


by Hannah Brimson |
Published on

Cannes: a glamorous affair, right? Not always, it would seem...


All the Cannes 2014 fashion don'ts including sideboobs, crowns and '80s throwbacks

Elena Lenina1 of 32

Elena Lenina

Dressing as a red carpet on the red carpet, obvs

Elena Lenina2 of 32

Elena Lenina

When we said statement necklaces were on trend, this is not what we had in mind...

Eva Longoria3 of 32

Eva Longoria

Eva's just discovered her dress has been sabotaged at the boob

Nicole Kidman4 of 32

Nicole Kidman

Part mermaid, part Game Of Thrones

America Ferrera5 of 32

America Ferrera

Here comes the bride. And the boobs

Frederique Bel6 of 32

Frederique Bel

Been practicing making snowflakes on your boots, have you?

Karlie Kloss7 of 32

Karlie Kloss

Just got out of bed did we? That's the only excuse we could think of for a lace nightie and no shoes

Paris Hilton8 of 32

Paris Hilton

Nothing too extravagant, as per usual

Petra Nemcova9 of 32

Petra Nemcova

Er, Petra? Pants were made for a reason

Adriana Lima10 of 32

Adriana Lima

We didn't realise full-length silk body stockings were acceptable on the red carpet. Oh wait, they're not

Marion Cotillard11 of 32

Marion Cotillard

Not even gorgeous Marion can pull off wearing a cloud

Christina Hendricks12 of 32

Christina Hendricks

If shoes make your feet look like hooves, then they're probably not worth buying, love

Eva Green13 of 32

Eva Green

Never mind Penny Dreadful, this camel-toe inducing jumpsuit signals Eva Dreadful unfortunately

Hilary Swank14 of 32

Hilary Swank

A fuchsia pink cummerbund? Why not? THIS IS WHY NOT

Hofit Golan15 of 32

Hofit Golan

A bit more Angelina leg inspo, and not much underwear by the looks of it

Jessie Ware16 of 32

Jessie Ware

Old curtain tassels don't really create the most flattering of tops

Julianne Moore17 of 32

Julianne Moore

That's a flattering colour. NOT

Julianne Moore18 of 32

Julianne Moore

Only one word comes to mind: sweaty

Kelly Rutherford19 of 32

Kelly Rutherford

All just a bit too see-through for our liking

Monica Bellucci20 of 32

Monica Bellucci

Totally tacky, not to mention ageing. Ew no, Monica

Naomi Watts21 of 32

Naomi Watts

Well someone's a big fan of Madonna in the '80s...

Riley Keough22 of 32

Riley Keough

Kind of amazing, kind of bin baggy

Rita Ora23 of 32

Rita Ora

Looked in that pool behind you for scaly outfit inspo did you?

Rosario Dawson24 of 32

Rosario Dawson

That red trim seems to be very unfortunately placed

Rosario Dawson25 of 32

Rosario Dawson

We didn't realise Neil Buchanan was now a fashion designer

Salma Hayek26 of 32

Salma Hayek

Bringing a whole new meaning to the phrase 'matching your shoes to your dress'

Tamara Ecclestone27 of 32

Tamara Ecclestone

Watch out Tamara! The same saboteur of Eva Longoria's dress is after you too

Victoria Silvstedt28 of 32

Victoria Silvstedt

Quality Street wrappers seem to suddenly be Cannes-piration

Victoria Silvstedt29 of 32

Victoria Silvstedt

And so do Christmas baubles

Victoria Silvstedt30 of 32

Victoria Silvstedt

Completing her hat trick of style disasters in yellow florals completed with EastEnders style accessories

Zoe Saldana31 of 32

Zoe Saldana

Just cos it's Versace doesn't mean it's nice...

Natasha Poly32 of 32

Natasha Poly

When in doubt, wear a hammock. At least you can have a nap on the red carpet, eh?

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