Kim Kardashian AND Kanye West get their cleavage out at Paris Fashion Week’s Lanvin show

“S’il vous plaît, Madame et Monsieur West, please follow me zis way to lost property,” a manicured young man is saying to the topless couple. “Ah am so sorry, but we cannot allow you to, er, ‘ow you say? remain sans clothing for zee show. You will ‘ave to put away your… ah, zee word? Oui, boobies. Please put away your boobies for zee show. Merci.”

Yep, looks like Kim Kardashian and Kanye West tried to turn up to the Lanvin show at Paris Fashion Week without actually wearing any clothes – and Kanye seems to be sporting an even more impressive cleavage than his wife of four months. Which is saying something, because she’s just wearing a skirt and a tuxedo jacket.

Kanye’s unbuttoned, baggy shirt prompted so much mirth in the heat office that it took us a whole pan au chocolat (relevant, yeah?) to work out just how we were going to celebrate this day. Everyone on board with Kimye Kleave Day, every 26 September from now until the end of time? Cool.

It’s been a rough couple of days for the material-shunning couple, what with Kim being assaulted yesterday afternoon by a man who almost pushed her over when she turned up to the Balmain show.

And it looks like it was notorious Ukrainian prankster Vitalii Sediuk who was behind the bizarre incident, with some sources reporting the former journalist pulled Kim’s hair (which he denies) and grabbed hold of her legs until her bodyguards sorted him out by kicking him fully and deftly in the face and kidneys.

Sediuk made headlines earlier this year when he knocked Brad Pitt’s glasses off at the Maleficent premiere and tried to stick his head up America Ferrera’s dress at the Cannes Film Festival.

Hmm. The UN really should make it a condition that if Putin keeps trying to invade bits of Ukrainian territory, he’ll have to employ Sediuk as his court jester. World peace SORTED.

Kim Kardashian naked - every nude picture she's EVER posted