Want to know what happened at New York Fashion Week... or rather, want to know just enough so you can casually mention it at a dinner party and sound uber up-to-speed?
Here are 10 things to help you do it...
1.) Lady Gaga walked the Marc Jacobs show alongside Kendall Jenner; a vast amphitheatre played to the scale of the clothes- part Edwardian, part Camden market goth, part Mombi from Return To Oz.
[emebd: https://www.instagram.com/p/BB8pdchGJHH/?taken-by=themarcjacobs]
2.) We climbed aboard (not literally, thank god – I get seasick) the T.H. Atlantic steam ship for Tommy Hilfiger, in a rather marvellous piece of set wizardry, where first mate Gigi (Hadid) stepped out in a rather spangly little nautical take on a 1920s shape.
3.) Flats are still au fait; see Victoria Beckham's riff on a patent black babushka, buckled at the ankle, or Jonathan Simkhai's textured slingbacks.
4.) At Rodarte (obsessed, btw) LA florist par excellence Joseph Free wove just-picked micro orchid blooms into earrings, along collarbones, and through chignons.
5.) Athleisure went nuclear. Yeezy, Fenty X Puma by Rihanna, Alexander Wang, DKNY... If you were going to break out a hoodie, the time is now.
6.) Proenza Schouler did some marvellous things with ribbed knits and bandage-strip tops, not to mention the boots – snug, sock like to the knee, in soft toffee leather, with a high-shine steel toe cap.
7.) Black is the new black - at Calvin Klein, Hugo Boss, DKNY, and, well, everywhere.
[emebd: https://twitter.com/CalvinKlein/status/700450846929248256]
8.) Alexander Wang brought back the slogan, even stamping graphic lettering ('tender', 'faded', 'strict') onto tights.
9.) Hair was almost varnished to the head in finger waves at Marc Jacobs – so much so that models still had their do's in tact on the 10.30pm flight out of JFK.
10.) It was, actually, pretty bloody cold, actually hitting -16 one evening. Cue handwarming packs and trays of hot chocolate at Moncler Grenoble, while a troop of helmeted figures in blue marched across Lincoln Centre Plaza.