Another day, another dolla. Or, if you're heatworld.com, another day, another brazen story about celebrity penises.
Listen, we're not the ones going around with our peens out, mmkay? We don't force famous men to wap everything out and take pictures of their junk. We're the innocents in this war of flesh, y'hear?
Anyway, listen: Ex On The Beach star Ashley Cain has graced us all with pictorial evidence of his schlong via the power of Snapchat, and all we can say is "thank you, internet gods. Thank you for this kindly gift".
Do you want to see Ashley Cain off Ex On The Beach's naked penis?
Are you sure?
Because this is pretty NSFW tbh.
Don't say we didn't warn you…
Here it comes...
BOOM:
Oh, mercy.
Here comes another one:
Oh our giddy aunt.
Ashley's probably best known in the latest series of Ex On The Beach for pissing off Gary Beadle. How has he done that? Well, he waltzed in during the third episode and immediately proclaimed himself king of the beach, then made sure all the lads got given a pair of his signature gold shorts.
Then, as if metallic pant-wearing and royalty-claiming wasn't enough, Ashley took things a step further by declaring WAR on Gaz's sexual prowess – and selecting two lucky ladies to have a go on his aforementioned dick.
"Apparently Gaz has been trying to have threesomes. Listen, it's time for me to show him how it's done," he told the camera before leading both Jemma Lucy and Olivia Walsh to the penthouse.
"This is a f*cking joke," Gary later claimed.
"I don't understand how he thinks he's this king."
Poor old Gaz.
Let's have a look at his enormo-cock, so he doesn't feel left out.
More celebrity penis stories****? You got it