A lot has changed for Ferne McCann since she first shot to fame in the ninth series of The Only Way is Essex in 2013. While she was once known for her wild partying, Ferne, 34, tells us that those days are ‘well and truly done’, before adding, ‘Don’t get me wrong, I still like a nice margarita!’
Cocktails aside, these days, she prefers to stay home with her two daughters, Sunday, seven – who she shares with ex Arthur Collins, who is currently serving a 20-year prison sentence for his part in an acid attack – and Finty, who she welcomed with fiancé Lorri Haines, 34, in 2023. She’s also in the middle of planning her wedding after Lorri – who also has a son from a previous relationship – popped the question just 18 months into their relationship, during an idyllic trip to France in July 2022.
In this exclusive chat with heat, Ferne reveals why she’s pleased to have had ‘the world’s longest engagement’, how the couple navigate their blended family, and why they are torn about adding to their brood…
How are the wedding plans going?
If I had my way, I’d have a whole week or month of celebrations. I definitely want to do something in this country, maybe a local garden party, so we can invite the neighbours, but I so desperately want to get married abroad. I feel like we are getting closer to actually making this wedding happen. Lorri and I have been talking about it a lot, and we have come up with a location – and not where everyone would expect. Now we just need to sort out logistics and actually set a date.
Do you think you’ll be a bridezilla?
Definitely not! I feel quite laid-back. I just want to enjoy the day. I think that if I were to have any sort of bridezilla moment, it would be because the food wasn’t up to scratch. We put so much emphasis on things like the dress, but bringing all your loved ones together and celebrating your love is what’s important. And the beauty of having the world’s longest engagement is that the girls are a bit older, so they’re at an age where they’ll be aware of what’s going on.
How are they?
They’re really good. I was sobbing at Sunday’s parents’ evening, because the teacher spoke so highly of her – she’s really thriving. She loves to watch athletics, and she’s like, ‘I want to do that’. You can’t teach that competitive spirit – and I really want to encourage her. She’s got such a thirst and hunger to achieve and do well. And Finty is just brilliant – she’s so charming. Because she’s mine and Lorri’s first baby together, we feel like she’s almost getting the ‘first baby experience’. She’s just been so much fun.
You must be very proud of them…
I am. Sunday’s such a sports star, and I get too excited! I feel in my bones that she’s going to accomplish something big. I actually had a psychic reading and she said to me, ‘Your daughters are going to be well known in their own right.’ I know I’m in the public eye, but I genuinely do feel it in my intuition! I’m like, ‘That’s it. Finty’s going to go off to NASA, and Sunday’s going to play at Wimbledon, or win the pentathlon gold!’
Do you prefer the toddler stage, or when they are a bit older?
I don’t think I have a preference. Finty’s so funny and cheeky. You start to see their personalities really blossom – she’s piecing words together, coming up with sentences and taking in the world around her. And Sunday is very much a little woman in her own right, I also love seeing how her brain is working. I just love raising girls. I hope I’m raising strong, spirited young women. It’s been so lovely to watch how Sunday’s taken to being a big sister.
Would you and Lorri like another baby?
We’re undecided. If we’re lucky enough to and we’re in a situation to have another one, I want to get the wedding booked first, and then maybe do it when I’m nearer 40. So, again, having a bit of a gap. But we’re sort of like, ‘If Finty is our last, let’s just enjoy her as much as possible.’
If you could choose, would you like another girl?
So many of my friends who’ve got boys are like, ‘Oh, they’re so loving,’ and I feel like I’d quite like to experience that. But I just see myself as a girl mum, because I know how to be a girl. I’m looking forward to every new chapter, from their heartbreaks to their celebrations. I’m a girls’ girl – I love having that feminine energy. So, I quite want another girl, but as long as they’re healthy, I don’t mind.
What’s the hardest thing about being a parent?
Not projecting your own feelings about a situation that’s going on in their life. Especially around Sunday’s age, when they start school, it definitely brings up a lot of feelings that you went through at that time. It’s striking the balance to guide them, without suppressing their individuality. I’m more sensitive than Sunday – she is good at cracking on and seeing sense, Whereas I’m an overthinker. So, it’s quite tough to be her mum and not be overprotective.
And the best thing?
Seeing them develop. It wasn’t until I had Finty, and saw how different she is to Sunday, that I really realised how individual we all are. We all have something very special within us. But my girls are just great. I love them so much – they’re brilliant in different ways.
How have you adapted to being a blended family?
I feel like I put more pressure on myself than I would if all the children were biologically mine. You’re constantly trying to get it right. Like any family, there’s going to be ups and downs, but being a blended family takes a lot of patience and understanding, and giving it time for the relationships to grow organically. It’s a work in progress, and you have to continuously nurture it.
What’s Lorri like as a stepdad?
He’s really good. Sunday’s a tough nut to crack – she definitely makes Lorri work a little bit harder to gain her love! But they have a unique relationship, and their own little things that bond them – she loves sitting on his lap as they do a word search together. He’s also started taking her to Westfield, because she’s getting into shopping, and then they have sushi together, which is so cute. Sunday knows exactly what she’s doing, though, because she knows Lorri will probably spoil her. Every time they’ve been, she asks him if she can get her ears pierced and I’m like, ‘Erm, no!’
What about as a dad?
He’s really hands-on. This isn’t his first rodeo, so he doesn’t think twice about changing a nappy. I have so much trust in him – I’m going to St Tropez this summer, and I feel so confident that he’ll have things at home covered. Finty adores him. You could say that she’s a daddy’s girl, but then she loves being with me, as well. Lorri’s amazing with her, and it’s really wonderful to see how close they are, especially as I’m still breastfeeding, and we have such a tight bond because of that.
Will you continue breastfeeding for the foreseeable?
I really don’t know when I’m going to stop. Lots of people say that you’re led by the baby, but I’m like, ‘Trust me, I don’t think Finty is ever going to get to that point!’ We’ll be out in public, and she’ll have her hand down my top, but I’m so used to it now. I sometimes think we’ll just do it in the morning and the evening, but then we slip back into our routine – it really is her comfort. There are so many benefits to breastfeeding, even past two years old. I know it’s a sensitive subject, but I feel really proud that I’m sharing our journey so that it becomes more normalised. I’ve had every comment that you can imagine – lots of people find it weird, but we’re just going with it.
Do you take notice of other people’s opinions when it comes to your breastfeeding journey?
The breastfeeding community feel really strongly about their views, and then there’s those who also feel triggered by it. I think we should welcome all opinions, because it gets people talking. Being a mum is challenging, and we’re not even the same mum to who we were for our first child. We’re growing and evolving, so why should somebody else tell us how to look after and raise our babies? We don’t have to get so irate about what somebody else is doing – how incredible that mothers have that choice. Whatever works for you.
Are all the negative comments like water off a duck’s back?
At the end of the day, I’m human. Over the years, I know I’ve always said I have a thick skin, but I am a very sensitive person. Negative comments do affect me, and I probably struggle more than I’ve let on. It shouldn’t matter, as it’s the opinions of the people who love me that count, but, of course, they do affect you.
You’ve recently opened up about your mental health during the early days of TOWIE. Are you more confident now?
If you look at TOWIE Ferne, I really wanted to be famous. I had this real hunger to be in the limelight. Whereas now, it’s almost the opposite. I’m still Ferne, but I feel like a woman now, as my life is at a completely different stage. Has my confidence grown with age? Yes, although I still have insecure moments. But I’ve learned the tools to help me feel grounded and content.
You stepped away from Ferne McCann My Family & Me last year. Would you like to do more TV in the future?
I could never see myself turning my back on TV – I’ve not lost the entertainer in me who loves to perform. I’ve got some exciting projects coming up, which are more aligned with who I am now. I can never imagine my life without cameras, and would never say never to another family show, but I stand by my decision to step away for now. I’m enjoying having that break.
Do you miss your partying days?
No! I was such a fraud of a party girl – I used to go to nightclubs, but I preferred daytime brunches. Now, I love being at home, cooking, and having different themed nights. We’re getting a pizza oven – say you’re in your thirties without saying you’re in your thirties! I’m such a foodie – it’s my love language.
Ferne’s working with Jarlsberg cheese to encourage people to elevate the everyday