When the I'm A Celeb 2024 rumour mill began spinning this summer the biggest names that got tongues seriously wagging across the country were Coleen Rooney and Tulisa Contostavlos. For obvious reasons.
With Coleen, we wanted all that 'Wagatha Christie' tea round the campfire, and with Tulisa, we wanted X Factor tea and a comeback story. Let's be honest, we all saw a '00s Lindsay Lohan x Paris Hilton comeback on the cards.
Despite a mixed response to her signing, 'The Female Boss' came across rather well during her stint on the show, despite being the third celebrity to leave the camp, but in reality, this very public endeavour was a stressful one for the N-Dubz star.
This week, Tulisa has opened up to Married At First Sight relationship expert Paul C. Brunson about her secret struggles on the show and revealed why she really walked away from the I'm A Celeb cameras – and indeed the public eye (once again) – upon exiting the show.
Speaking of her time on I'm A Celeb on Paul's We Need To Talk podcast, Tulisa described the experience as 'absolute rollercoaster'.
She said, 'I couldn't put it into one word because some days it felt like one thing, other days it felt like something else. Running up to it, even though I said I was going to do it, I was terrified. I was going to back out the week before. I was sat on the phone to my management being like, "I don't think I can do this". I really felt like I wanted to, but I still had those weak moments. I was just terrified.'
Speaking of her secret struggles in the camp, Tulisa revealed, 'Some of the things you didn't see was I had night terrors for the first four days. I was having anxiety attacks. Those parts not everyone knows, so it wasn't completely smooth sailing for me. But I have a great poker face. I really can turn it on, especially when I'm faced with adversity.'
After becoming the third celeb to be voted out of the Jungle, Tulisa made a swift retreat back to the UK, going dark on social media (many fans noticed that she archived a fair few of her past posts upon getting her phone back) and not appearing in any follow-up I'm A Celeb content. As it turns out, Tulisa was suffering from a secret 'breakdown', confessing to Paul that she had 'pushed myself too much' by signing up to the hit show.
Tulisa revealed, 'When I came out [of the Jungle] the biggest thing that got me was introvert overload. I had pushed myself into doing this, and I was ready to overcome the fears and be in the spotlight, but being watched consistently for so many hours a day – nowhere to hide, nowhere to run – feeling so exposed, and also this fear, probably irrational, of being watched, feeling under surveillance...
'When I came out, I began to cry as I had my first moment to myself. And I spoke to the team and they asked me, "What's wrong?" and I said, "Please, don't put me back on camera." I need to be off now. Too much. I pushed myself too much. I'm really proud of myself, but I pushed myself too far, too soon. I need to go home.'
She added, 'You want me to be there out of principle while I'm having a breakdown? I need to go home and process this,' while adding that ITV respected her wishes and 'were really good with me'.
The former X Factor judge concluded by saying, 'I'm not going to push myself over any more edges. I've been over enough edges in my life. I need to take care of myself.'
When asked to talk about what she did while the world speculated her whereabouts, she revealed that she hid in bed for four days 'processing' and went on a total phone and social media detox.
This podcast is a raw, emotional listen; one that may trigger those who struggle with mental health. But if you can give it a listen, do, as it's an important conversation, one that Tulisa deserves a huge amount of respect for joining so publicly.
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Ben Pulsford is a digital writer for Bauer Media, writing for both Closer online and heatworld. When he's not getting paid to gossip about Big Brother, Love Island, and The Real Housewives of Cheshire, he's storming the London LGBTQ+ scene as drag queen, Beary Poppins. Both Ben and Beary are awaiting an invite to join The Real Housewives of Cheshire for series 18. The budget's not there, but the drama is 💅.