Some ladies belong in the hall of fame of huns – think Cher, Cilla Black, Alison Hammond and any of the Real Housewives, from New York to Cheshire. But, standing tall among them is heat fave and national treasure Jane McDonald.
The singer and TV presenter has been entertaining the nation for almost three decades now, ever since she first found fame as a cruise-ship singer in the 1998 BBC docusoap The Cruise. While the show followed the daily grind of staff aboard the luxury liner Galaxy, it was Jane who made waves, singing her way into our hearts and landing herself a record deal in the process. Chart success and TV fame followed, and she’s since cemented herself as one of the mainstays of British broadcasting.
But it’s her personal life that’s truly shaped the woman Jane is today – not least since losing long-term partner Eddie Rothe to lung cancer in 2021. Eddie’s passing came just three years after Jane’s mother Jean died, leaving the bereft star learning to pick up the pieces with her trademark blend of humour, grit and eternal optimism.
Now, Jane’s ready to share the lessons she’s learnt along the way in her new book Let The Light In. Speaking to heat ahead of the book’s release, the 61 year old tells us about her unconventional living situation, and why dating again falls low on her list of priorities…
Your new book is all about life lessons you’ve learned – what’s the biggest realisation you’ve had in recent times?
The biggest thing I’ve learned is to take control of your own life. I used to blame everything on everyone else until I started to look at the common denominator of everything that went wrong and realised it was me. Once you start looking at why you’ve done something – again – you learn to take control. Once I did that, my life went off in a completely different way.
You open up about conquering anxiety in the book – what tricks do you turn to?
I think we all suffer from anxiety at certain levels, so thank goodness it’s talked about a lot more. I find now that, when I’m anxious and I feel it coming on, I sit down, take a few deep breaths and say, ‘What is the matter?’ And I go through checklists in my head. When I’ve worked out what the root of it is, I have to deal with it then, because otherwise I’m going to feel like that a lot longer. Whether it’s a phone call, or whatever, we always imagine it’s a lot worse than it actually is.
We’re often making up all these stories in our heads that make us feel terrible, when actually, if we just get it over with, that’s gone. Try to live in the present more, too – 90% of what we worry about never even happens. Now, instead of saying to myself, ‘What if it goes wrong?’, I try to say, ‘What if it goes right?’ That’s the power of visualisation. For example, if there’s a performance I’m petrified of doing, I imagine the audience up on their feet, enjoying themselves. Switch it up, start thinking about how good it can be.
You also talk a lot about losing Ed and your mum – a few years on, how does grief affect you?
I have more good days than bad now, and that’s when you know you’re going in the right direction. I don’t believe in moving on – you move forward and take it all with you. All the experiences and all the beautiful memories. The brain is a wonderful thing, because all the bad stuff at the end with my mum and Ed seems to be going into the background a bit, and I just remember their beautiful smiles and the laughter, and how blessed I was to have them in my life. They came along and enriched it. Everybody’s grief is different, there’s no rule book for what grief is. All I’m putting down is my experience. It was hell – grief is the most horrendous thing. But you’re still here, and you have to chase joy as much as you possibly can.
Do you ever imagine what they would say to you now in certain situations?
I can hear them as plain as day. I laugh out loud thinking, ‘Oh, that’s my mother’, or, ‘Oh, that’s Ed.’ That’s the wonderful thing, knowing they’re always there, good and bad. All that wisdom they had lives in you.
You mention how your sister-in-law Wendy said you have to live the life your mother wanted for you – are you doing that now?
Yes. She sacrificed such a lot for me, she was very influential. I have a great deal of joy in my life, and that’s what she’d love – she would love to see me laughing. I’ve got some great friends. That’s the thing with grief, as well. Surround yourself with people who make you smile. You can talk about your partner, mum, whoever, but it’s not sad. I have a group of girls now, we go out for dinner, we get a few glasses down us, we laugh. There are bits of joy and you’ve got to chase joy, but don’t leave the people you’ve lost behind. Take them with you.
Your Channel 5 cruise shows provided people with a bit of escapism during the pandemic – will we ever see another from you?
Watch this space. You’ve got an exclusive! Well, not quite, because I can’t mention it yet. But there is some very exciting news to be announced.
But can you at least tell us if it’s a cruise-related show?
Yes, I’ll say that – it’s cruise-related.
Do you have a dream TV gig you’d still like to land?
No. I wait for things to come into my life now, where I say, ‘Hell, yes, I want to do that.’ And, it can be quite random. I wouldn’t mind a part in Downton Abbey, actually, wearing a bonnet. Bridgerton would be a bit too risqué for me, although I suppose I could just be someone’s mother or grandmother.
What about theatre?
I’m just about to go into rehearsals with Julian Clary to do the Christmas panto at the London Palladium – that’s my theatre fix. And of course, I’m going on tour at the end of October. I always have a fix of theatre, because I love the live thing. I love doing something by the seat of my pants, going, ‘Oh God, here we go…’ and just getting out of my comfort zone and getting a bit scared.
You do Celebrity Gogglebox with your best friend Sue Ravey. Are you both still living together at your house in Wakefield?
Yes, she has one part of the house and I’m up the other end. We meet in the kitchen. I never see her, to be honest! We’ve got our own sections, which really works well. She’s off all the time doing stuff, and I’m a homebird, really. She loves getting in the car and off she goes, but she’s always back for tea, which I quite like.
Did she move in so you wouldn’t be living on your own after Ed died?
Yes, she came in like Superwoman, to be honest, when it all happened. I’m so grateful to her for taking over like she did. Sue’s the PA, the make-up woman and she’s my best friend, as well. I don’t know what I’d do without her. She sorts everything out and I’m really grateful that I’ve got her, really.
If you ever fall in love and settle down again, will you be kicking Sue out?
No, she’s going nowhere! I’m not saying I’d never date again, but it’s way down on my list of things that I want to do. I was very lucky, I had the most amazing relationship with Ed, and not many people get that in life. So, if I never have another date in my life, that’s fine. If I do, that’s also fine.I’m not shutting the door, but I have a great life without thinking I need a man in it. Singledom can be quite liberating.
How is the tour preparation going?
It’s great, and this is a very different tour for me. I’m doing quite a lot of songs on the piano this time, and there are, of course, some diva moments where I get to do some big belts.
You mention in your book that you no longer have a drink before a show – do you still enjoy a wine now and again?
I do love a good glass of red when I’m chilling out, just not before a show.
You’re celebrated across the country as a gay icon – why do you think that is?
You know what? I don’t know. I have no idea but, whatever it is, I hope it stays with me, because I am so honoured.
Could it be the big hair, the glittery clothes, the big voice?
Yes, you’re probably right there. OK, I can see that!
Let The Light In: Lessons Learned Through Life, Love And Laughter by Jane McDonald is out now (Ebury Spotlight, £22)