MEGAN BARTON-HANSON EXCLUSIVE: “In my lowest moments, I didn’t want to be here”

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Megan Barton-Hanson

by Arianna Chatzidakis |

Speaking exclusively to heatworld for our mental health campaign Where's Your Head At?, Love Island star Megan Barton-Hanson opened up about her experience with mental health.

Megan revealed that "mental health is something I’ve always struggled with from a young age. I always was very self-conscious and had low self-esteem. So, it’s something I’ve battled with my whole life. The first time I think I really admitted it to myself and to my mum was when I was around 13. I said 'mum, I’m really unhappy', and then we went down the route of seeing a doctor before being referred to a counsellor."

"I found it so difficult to open up because I just thought, 'am I crazy?'. I hate saying that because I think that’s where all the stigma comes from. 'Am I crazy? Am I mental?' - but it’s not that."

Speaking about her lowest time, Megan told us that it was two years ago when she broke up with her boyfriend: "I had plans to leave my job. I was going to go travelling [with him] and then I found out that he was messaging someone else. I just felt like I wanted to give up, like there wasn’t any positive times, there wasn’t any sad times, I just felt a whole cloud over me of just like numbness and nothingness.

"I remember crying to my mum and saying basically 'I really am not happy, I don’t wanna be here anymore', and cried together. She called 111 and from there I just thought I really need to change my life because the way I’m coping with things isn’t helping me. It was like a vicious circle of being unhappy, going out and brushing it under the rug. I thought there was no way I could get better - but there always is, and I did get better."

WATCH Megan Barton-Hanson speak about mental health:

Adjusting to fame post-Love Island was hard for Megan, too. "When I first came out the villa it was so difficult. I was on such a high but then I read some comments on a news article about me - they were absolutely awful."

Speaking about why it's so important to be able to talk about your mental health and open up, Megan said "I think we’re slowly getting better with mental health in the UK. We’re speaking about it more openly but it’s still something we need to talk about more. Everyone with a big platform needs to speak out about it because everyone suffers on some level. So, it shouldn’t be taboo, and more people need to realise that it's okay to feel like down or anxious. I think everyone has highs and lows."

Talking about how she deals with her mental health now, Megan said "for me, therapy, meditation and yoga really help. After spending an hour in a yoga studio I could out like a new person with a spring in my step. Every night before bed, I also listen to meditation audio and that really helps meYoga is amazing for me.

Her advice to people who are suffering with mental health is to "get help and remember that everyone’s suffered on some level. Some people have had it just for a day, some people have had it for months and months but, trust me, the way I felt two years ago, if I managed to pull myself out, you can definitely do the same!

"I think all of us in one point of our life suffer with mental health. That’s why I’m supporting the Where’s Your Head At? campaign, because we should all speak more openly about this subject," said Megan.

If you want to get involved in the Where's Your Head At? campaign and make a change, check out the website at www.wheresyourheadat.org.

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