Look, we obviously love it when Islanders go in to ridiculous amounts of detail when it comes to any Love Island dramz, but for the first time in heatworld history, we're declaring "too much" while mopping up this All Stars tea that Molly Smith just shared.
When you realise where we're going with this, you'll realise why 'mopping up' was the perfect – and grimmest – word choice there. BLEURGH.
In a very candid chat with Love Island 2017 icon Olivia Attwood on her So Wrong It's Right podcast, the All Stars winner – who recently announced that she and boyfriend Tom Clare had moved in together – Molly went into detail about the food poisoning armageddon that rocked the South African villa earlier this year. We'd heard rumours of it, but never in our wildest dreams did we imagine things ever getting this messy (excluding any of Mitch Taylor's actions, of course).
Molly revealed that the villa-wide food poisoning was "tragic", confirming that the entire cast were "bed bound" and in constant need of the loo, in a villa which is notoriously low on bathrooms. Not this.
When asked whether it was like the iconic bridal shop scene in Bridesmaids, Molly said, "Literally, literally that was it. And I remember going in the bedroom one day, bless Arabella [Chi], bed bound. Like, the doctor hanging over her, like... Sophie [Piper] got ill, all of us [got ill]."
And that's not even the worst bit. Molly continued, "We tried to distinguish the toilets. So we tried to say like, 'Girls can go downstairs. Boys, please, please stay upstairs.'"
"It was a free for all. Just every one you could get to. And then I'd have the girls manning the door. So if anyone came, I'd be like, 'No, you need to try and like, divert the traffic.' I get stage fright and everything."
Not this. Not for our Moll. SUCH a relatable queen.
Oh, actually, it gets even worse – just in case you forgot, remember there are cameras in every toilet. So while this would obvs never get aired, erm, events in the loo are still recorded.
Olivia iconically explained, "The first Love Island poo is really like... it just feels really dehumanising because people don't realise there are cameras in the toilets."
Molly added, "They don't watch you on the toilet in the gallery. They apparently put it down, but it's basically for like if you fainted or something."
Can you believe we're writing Love Island poo stories? We have degrees and everything...