Calvin Harris shares picture of his frankly huge penis

We are a-gog

Calvin Harris

by Polly Foreman |
Updated on

There's nothing quite like innocently perusing a celeb's Instagram, watching them on the tele, or stalking them obsessively on Google, and coming across an unexpected peen.

WHAT a feeling it is.

We learnt this with Alex Bowen (HUGE peen), Gaz Beadle (HUGE parsnip) and Lewis Bloor (ENORMOUS AND HAIRLESS peen).

We thought we learnt this with Justin Bieber too one time, but it turned out it wasn't actually him.

We were bitterly disappointed.

But, luckily for us, there's a new peen on the block – and it's attached to none other than Calvin Harris.

It's hidden away under his boxers, but it looks a hella large…

Check out: All the celebrity penis pictures you could ever need NSFW OBVS

Gallery

Celebrity penis SLIDER

alex bowen penis1 of 20
CREDIT: Twitter

Love Island's Alex Bowen's massive penis!

IT'S HUGE! Read more about his penis here

Gary Beadle penis2 of 20
CREDIT: Instagram

Geordie Shore's Gary Beadle's penis take 1

Look at his parsnip! For more pics, click here

Gary Beadle3 of 20
CREDIT: Instagram

Gary Beadle's parsnip penis take 2

OOOPH, look at him in his shorts

LEWIS BLOOR PENIS4 of 20
CREDIT: CBB

Lewis Bloor penis

He got his wang out in CBB!

chris hemsworth penis5 of 20
CREDIT: Instagram

Chris Hemsworth's GIGANTIC peen

OH MY CHRIST, LOOK AT IT!

Gary Beadle penis6 of 20
CREDIT: Instagram

Gary Beadle dick take 2

BLOODY NORA! Look at his wang!

Stephen Bear penis7 of 20
CREDIT: Twitter

Stephen Bear's VERY SHOCKING PENIS

BLOODY HELL, HAVE YOU SEEN THIS? CHRIST ON A BIKE!

calvin harris penis8 of 20
CREDIT: Instagram

Calvin Harris' FRANKLY HUGE penis

PHWOOOAAAR. Nice peen, Cal.

Ashley Cain's penis9 of 20
CREDIT: Snapchat

Ashley Cain's penis

Ashley Cain off of Ex On The Beach only went and got his wang out on Snapchat!

Lewis bloor penis10 of 20
CREDIT: Snapchat

Lewis Bloor penis TAKE 2

Marnie uploaded this FULLY NAKED picture of Lewis Bloor when they were together. BLIMEY.

Justin Bieber penis11 of 20
CREDIT: Instagram

JUSTIN BIEBER PENIS!!!

Bet you thought you wouldn't see actual Justin Bieber's actual penis on this list, hmmm?

Alexander Skarsgard penis12 of 20
CREDIT: HBO

Alexander Skarsgard's penis

PHWOAAAAR. This peen isn't all it seems, though, read more about that here (and see more pics lol).

Joey Essex penis13 of 20
CREDIT: Instagram

Joey Essex's penis!

Look at Joey Essex's peen! Blimey!

Lewis Bloor penis14 of 20
CREDIT: Instagram

Lewis Bloor penis take 3

Lewis Bloor showed off his penis AGAIN on Instagram in this transformation pic.

Jay Alvarrez's penis15 of 20
CREDIT: Snapchat

Jay Alvarrez's penis

This YouTuber got his wang out on Snapchat to disprove his ex's claims it was small. Well done, hun.

DAPPY'S PENIS!16 of 20
CREDIT: Twitter

DAPPY'S PENIS!

The one you've all been waiting for - DAPPY'S ENORMOUS WANG.

Snapchat17 of 20

MIC's Alex Mytton's penis!

Alex's girlfriend at the time Nicole uploaded this VERY nawty pic to Snapchat. v

Simon Cowell18 of 20

ACTUAL SIMON COWELL'S PEEN

**Disclaimer: this is not actually Simon Cowell's peen.**OR IS IT?Read more here.

Chuckle brothers19 of 20
CREDIT: Twitter

HANG ON. CHUCKLE BROTHERS PENIS?

THERE IS A SENTENCE WE NEVER THOUGHT WE'D SAY. Can you spot the phallic symbol in the picture? Click here if not.

gary beadle penis20 of 20
CREDIT: Snapchat

Gary Beadle penis take 39499292

He just looooves to get his wang out, doesn't he?

His excuse for posting the peen (as if anyone ever needs one) was a happy birthday message for his manager.

He posted a pic of himself, the peen, and the manager together to Instagram, captioning it: "Happy birthday to my manager @gillespiemark I love u."

Cute.

Predictably, many commentators chimed in to pay their respects, saying things like: "damnnnn," "Holy cow," and our personal favourite: "Ohhhmaaafaawwkkiinnnngawwddd," which is exactly what we were thinking.

Side note: Have you SEEN his bod?

Calvin Harris is no stranger to being a big ol' naked tease on social media – he recently went on a topless (presumably Taylor Swift inspired) rant on Snapchat.

Isn't that just the most 2016 sentence you've ever read?

Anyway, he started it off by talking about the VMA nomination of his song "This Is What You Came For" after it was confirmed that Tay Tay had sort of written it.

He said: "Shout out Emil Nava [video director]. I got three VMA nominations today, This Is What You Came For, How Deep Is Your Love, big up."

Calvin Harrus

But then he started talking utter nonsense. "I'm just out here getting exactly 15 minutes of sun. It's all you need. Use the sun's energy, become a better person with the sun on your side."

And it carried on like that for quite a while – we won’t include it all because we get confused just reading it.

But he was topless, basically.

Calvin Harris
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