There's nothing quite like innocently perusing a celeb's Instagram, watching them on the tele, or stalking them obsessively on Google, and coming across an unexpected peen.
WHAT a feeling it is.
We learnt this with Alex Bowen (HUGE peen), Gaz Beadle (HUGE parsnip) and Lewis Bloor (ENORMOUS AND HAIRLESS peen).
We thought we learnt this with Justin Bieber too one time, but it turned out it wasn't actually him.
We were bitterly disappointed.
But, luckily for us, there's a new peen on the block – and it's attached to none other than Calvin Harris.
It's hidden away under his boxers, but it looks a hella large…
Check out: All the celebrity penis pictures you could ever need NSFW OBVS
Celebrity penis SLIDER
1 of 20Love Island's Alex Bowen's massive penis!
IT'S HUGE! Read more about his penis here
2 of 20Geordie Shore's Gary Beadle's penis take 1
Look at his parsnip! For more pics, click here
3 of 20Gary Beadle's parsnip penis take 2
OOOPH, look at him in his shorts
7 of 20Stephen Bear's VERY SHOCKING PENIS
BLOODY HELL, HAVE YOU SEEN THIS? CHRIST ON A BIKE!
9 of 20Ashley Cain's penis
Ashley Cain off of Ex On The Beach only went and got his wang out on Snapchat!
10 of 20Lewis Bloor penis TAKE 2
Marnie uploaded this FULLY NAKED picture of Lewis Bloor when they were together. BLIMEY.
11 of 20JUSTIN BIEBER PENIS!!!
Bet you thought you wouldn't see actual Justin Bieber's actual penis on this list, hmmm?
12 of 20Alexander Skarsgard's penis
PHWOAAAAR. This peen isn't all it seems, though, read more about that here (and see more pics lol).
14 of 20Lewis Bloor penis take 3
Lewis Bloor showed off his penis AGAIN on Instagram in this transformation pic.
15 of 20Jay Alvarrez's penis
This YouTuber got his wang out on Snapchat to disprove his ex's claims it was small. Well done, hun.
17 of 20MIC's Alex Mytton's penis!
Alex's girlfriend at the time Nicole uploaded this VERY nawty pic to Snapchat. v
18 of 20ACTUAL SIMON COWELL'S PEEN
**Disclaimer: this is not actually Simon Cowell's peen.**OR IS IT?Read more here.
19 of 20HANG ON. CHUCKLE BROTHERS PENIS?
THERE IS A SENTENCE WE NEVER THOUGHT WE'D SAY. Can you spot the phallic symbol in the picture? Click here if not.
20 of 20Gary Beadle penis take 39499292
He just looooves to get his wang out, doesn't he?
His excuse for posting the peen (as if anyone ever needs one) was a happy birthday message for his manager.
He posted a pic of himself, the peen, and the manager together to Instagram, captioning it: "Happy birthday to my manager @gillespiemark I love u."
Cute.
Predictably, many commentators chimed in to pay their respects, saying things like: "damnnnn," "Holy cow," and our personal favourite: "Ohhhmaaafaawwkkiinnnngawwddd," which is exactly what we were thinking.
Side note: Have you SEEN his bod?
Calvin Harris is no stranger to being a big ol' naked tease on social media – he recently went on a topless (presumably Taylor Swift inspired) rant on Snapchat.
Isn't that just the most 2016 sentence you've ever read?
Anyway, he started it off by talking about the VMA nomination of his song "This Is What You Came For" after it was confirmed that Tay Tay had sort of written it.
He said: "Shout out Emil Nava [video director]. I got three VMA nominations today, This Is What You Came For, How Deep Is Your Love, big up."
But then he started talking utter nonsense. "I'm just out here getting exactly 15 minutes of sun. It's all you need. Use the sun's energy, become a better person with the sun on your side."
And it carried on like that for quite a while – we won’t include it all because we get confused just reading it.
But he was topless, basically.
