If our Big Brother maths is correct, then we have roughly two and a bit weeks of house action left, which means our beloved Big Brother 2024 housemates are going to start dropping like villagers in a town plagued by vape-smoking vampires.
Boo for most people, but a small slay if you're a heatworld journalist, as we're speaking to each and every one of this year's evicted housemates just hours after they've said their goodbyes.
So prepare some serious tea – and perhaps even more blood – over the next couple of weeks...
On the very day Dean Smith was evicted from the Big Brother house we caught up with Martha Church, who was brutally evicted from the house at the hands of Evil Head of House Emma Morgan just a few days prior.
In a first for this year's series, after being evicted following that mercilessly evil Halloween fairground game in the garden, Martha was quickly escorted out of the back door of the house - no audience, no AJ and Will, no long goodbyes to her fellow housemates. It was giving Kerry Riches' mummy eviction – sans bandages.
It was clear that within seconds of chatting to Martha face-to-face that reality had set in; that she's spent the last few days reflecting on her time in the house, her slays, her mistakes, and the public perception of her.
She exclusively told heatworld, 'I am a chronic people pleaser. I think that’s apparently obvious and I don’t think that’s come across the way I intended to. I think I’ve been a bit misunderstood and people think I’m two-faced and actually, it comes from a place of love, from a place of wanting to be liked and wanting to fit in. I think that obviously it doesn’t transpire on the TV – you see like one hour.'
And we have to say, after just 20 minutes of chatting to the evicted housemate, we can confirm that this reality queen doesn't have a bad bone in her body. Yes, she's made some mistakes and clashed with a few key players, but that's Big Brother – in fact, that's life. There's been slays and nays, as this divisive housemate would say.
Opening up about her biggest regret during the experience, Martha reminded us of one of her biggest rule breaks (and there were a few). She said, 'Biggest nay was writing my name everywhere and having tea and coffee taken away from the house.'
Sorry, but were we the only ones who completely forgot about this Big Brother no-no? A few weeks back, the house was reprimanded after certain housemates (namely Martha) were caught 'writing messages' in th smoking area.
At the time, Big Brother told the house that they 'must not attempt to communicate in code or write messages' and that 'this rule has been broken by several housemates, who have been caught writing messages in the smoking area.'
Big Brother came down all of the housemates like a sack of sh*t for this one, declaring 'All tea and coffee, gone. All biscuits, banned. All sweets, seized. Fizzy drinks, forget about it. All 140 packets of crisps, confiscated.'
Martha also opened up about her clash with Hanah Haji in the house (one of the most heated rows of the series so far).
She went on to confirm that the girls are more than fine now, describing the row as a heated but 'sisterly' one. And how's this for a happy ending? Martha got her hug from her sis in the end.
Keep slaying, Martha.
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Ben Pulsford is a digital writer for Bauer Media, writing for both Closer online and heatworld. When he's not getting paid to gossip about Big Brother, Love Island, and The Real Housewives of Cheshire, he's storming the London LGBTQ+ scene as drag queen, Beary Poppins. Both Ben and Beary are awaiting an invite to join The Real Housewives of Cheshire for series 18. The budget's not there, but the drama is 💅